What The Hell Is A Digimon?
by Joshua Chung
Summary: Me and some other people that I'll probably forget in T-minus fifteen seconds were sent to the world of Digimon. Damn it, why couldn't I be sent to the world of Pokémon instead? NO LONGER ACCEPTING OC'S
1. What The Fuck Just Happened?

I really got to stop doing this, but stupid plot bunny decided to invade my brain again and smash itself as something that's more prioritized over my other stories. Damn it! I really need to update my other fan fictions too...

I don't own Digimon or it's franchise...period.

* * *

This is our world. Planet Earth.

...too vague? Ok let's try this.

This is our country. The United States of America.

...still too vague? Fine, let me try again.

This is California. One of the best damn states in America.

...what? You still think it's not enough? Fine!

This is San Francisco-

"Hiya cutie, whatcha doing?"

...ok let's go down south a little more.

This is Los Angeles-

"_Oi Puta! Como te fuck!"_

...right, a let's go up back north, a little bit to the east though.

This is Lake Tahoe. I think that's where we'll find - oh wait! There I am!

...no I'm not the fatass that's eating the four by four, nor am I the slut that's trying to get a little cock in the corner of the room. I'm not that angry bitch of a mom that's smacking the living piss out of her kid, or am I the guy that's flirting with that blond chick with the nice rack (though I won't lie, I probably would want to flirt with her).

So where the hell am I?

I'm the dude that's actually running under the sun, working up a sweat. Yup, that's me you guys. I'm the guy that actually gives a damn about his appearance and is trying his best to keep himself in shape.

Oh sorry, I still need to introduce myself right?

Well, my name is Joshua Chung, and let me start by saying this.

I am an asshole.

There I said it.

I'm not going to deny it. I am a complete asshole. Even right now I'm an asshole.

Every. Single. Second.

Usually people would start off being a modest guy. They would start off how their life is a minuscule and pathetic. How their life sucks and nothing too important happened in their life. Well guess what? So's mine, and you don't see me bitch about it.

Forgive me for the profanity. Even if it's in the first five seconds of the story, seeing the word 'bitch' is not very nice is it? I don't think so either, so I'll do my best to keep myself in check. However it'll be hard to, because it is me, and I can't help myself being, well, myself.

Oh god, I got off track didn't I? Where was I? Oh yeah, where everyone is being all humble and modest. I'll be up front with you all. I'm a senior in high school, and in first semester have two D's. There I said it, and I'm not ashamed of saying it. Well, I have to admit, it was embarrassing to see it, but after conflicting with my own inner thoughts, I just accepted the fact that I suck at that particular subject. I'm not going to deny it, I suck at English and Pre-Cal. Actually I don't suck at Pre-Calculus, I'm just really lazy.

English on the other hand can just kiss my ass. I can live without it.

Like I said earlier, English can kiss my ass.

So, you all must be wonder, what's there to know about me? Who am I? Did something interesting happened in my life that people would want to know?

More importantly, why the hell do you care?

If you guys skipped a bit around my rants, then let me introduce myself again just encase you forgot my name. I'm Joshua Chung. My birthday is-

Wait a minute, why the hell do you care?

I'm your 'ab'normal 18-year-old male. See what I did there? I added in 'ab' into normal to become abnormal! Pretty sneaky, right? You all must have thought that I would start off with those generic "I'm you average 18 year old dude" right?

WRONG!

I'm not normal at all! In fact, I detest it! I hate the word "normal"! Normal are for those that aren't adventurous, that aren't willing to step out of the box and do something new. Normal are for weak sauce, and pussies. They want to live out normal lives, be my guest.

Me and the other eighty-five percent of the US won't take that shit. We won't be normal, we'll do something completely different, completely estrange from our norm.

Let me tell you an example. Last year I was 215, now a normal person would bitch and whine about how they want to get skinny. Me? I did that for about a week before I decided to actually do something about it. So I got on some sweatpants and sweater and began to run, jump and sprint my fatass. I burned my quads and my abs. I poured blood and sweat, and no I don't mean metaphorically: I actually spat and vomit blood from overworking and I sweated a gallon of sweat every hour. I cut off all sodas, fat foods and sweets.

By the end of the summer and all the way up to April? Good bye rolls, hello eight-pacs.

Yeah, you read it right, eight-packs!

Bitches love the eight-packs.

I worked my ass off to get my body, and I am sure as hell not going to be discreet about it. I freaking love my new body. I'm very athletic after dropping that weight, and because of the diet that I made for myself I can cook my own meals now, and I'm pretty sure I can get into Davis by the end of my high school year. Sure I might not have the grades, I mean I have a weighted GPA of 3.04, but I got the SAT and my sports. Not only that, but I also have some things that people don't have, leverage. I exploit the hell out of my leverages, and it's damn well worth it.

...ok I didn't get into Davis, or any of the UCs...except for one.

UCLA.

Bitches praise me as yo kings! Procrastinated on the SAT and got a 2150, Lettered in Swim and Waterpolo, and wrote a kick ass essay prompt for the application process.

To be more of an asshole, guess what?

I copied off of this off of my own fanfic, because I can.

Ah crap, got off topic again didn't I?

Damn it.

Ok back to the story.

Now you all must be wondering, why the hell does this matter?

Remember how I hate the word "normal"? How I detest it? How I wanted to be abnormal?

I was not expecting an abnormality like this.

-o0O0o-

So lemme go back a few steps, and let me summarize how our world is right now: It's in complete chaos

It all began when our world's weather went completely out of whack. There were droughts in Thailand, floods in Africa, one hell of a winter in Chicago- oh wait that always happens there.

In conclusion, our world is kind of strange right now.

And right now most of us, as in our senior class, were all at Lake Tahoe just getting ready to snowboard and skiing up in the mountains.

Oh and before you guys ask me how and why I know this much? First off cut off your manga and anime supply and read something called the newspaper and then, if you have Direct TV, you go to channel 202 and watch CNN. Don't ask me about Dish, cause I really don't know.

All of the other kids were getting ready to go and have fun.

Me?

"Forty-four...forty-five...forty-six..." The news was blaring up on the corner of the ceiling while I was doing my last set of push ups for the day before I hit the shower. I was in the fitness room that the hotels usually have and did my usual cardio run, jumprope, and swim. Now I was focusing on my muscle structure, doing various of sit-ups, and now heavy numbers of pushups. While I was getting to my last fifty of the day, the news was going on about mysterious earthquakes in Japan and hailstorms in China. Damn, I knew those two country shouldn't have pissed of Mama nature.

"Fifty..." I counted as I pushed myself off the ground while turning off the TV. I'm doing the hotel a favor and not let their electric bill run so damn high. Wiping the remainder of my sweat off of my face I walked out of the room, sweat drenched on my t-shirt and a bit on my shorts as I passed by hotel workers who murmured at my directions, one of them was checking me out with an approval.

Yeah bitch, BTW I'm legal.

Joking. But seriously though I really am eighteen.

See, look at the mini bio below as they decrease my screen size to tell me a little bit about myself.

**Joshua Chung  
12th Grade  
High School**

And now I'm going to go and take a shower.

What I didn't know was that while I was taking a nice warm bath, a blizzard was nearly blowing everyone off of the mountains.

-o0O0o-

I dried off my hair as I looked at my little closet that I was sharing with my roommate. I picked out my jogging suit, cause it was a bit cold and chilly today I thought it was a good time to wear it. Besides I'm going to go out for a jog later this afternoon-

**"We interrupt this program to bring you disturbing news. In most of California, there is a blizzard storming down most of-"**

Wait what?

I rushed off to the nearest window, and sure enough.

A blizzard.

Being a very mature and calm-minded individual, I knew exactly how to handle the situation...

"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!"

* * *

**Author's Note**

A rather short intro, but intro's aren't really my things as of late.

Well now that's out of the way...

I never thought I see the day...

...well actually I did, cause I did this in my Pokemon Story, but still...

In any case I need OC's. I'm going to take only about seven, so you guys need to really impress me with the OC's. If it's halfed-ass, it's rejected. If its vague, it's rejected. Meaning I want details, good details. If it's crap, it's crap and I won't touch crap. Period.

Can they be sues? I don't know, they're your OC's.

I'm too lazy to show you guys a separate example so I'm just going to give you guys both the skeleton and example, you guys can erase my name and shit from here.

**Name: **Joshua Chung**  
****Age: **18  
**Nationality: **American/Korean

**[You can send a picture description, but make sure you give a brief summary of how they look as well. Remember, what you write is what will appear in the story. If you can't find a picture, well tough luck dudes, guess you'll have to write out the whole damn thing.]  
****Physical Description:** Joshua has one hell of an athletic built due to his cardio workouts. A nice jaw that matches with his sharp lean form that fools most people until he takes off his clothes. One of the things that most people wonder is why the hell is this kid sporting a god damn perm? Well it does look good on him.

**Clothing: **Oh god why, why did he have to come in these clothes? Out of all the clothes he had to wear he chose this one. A black Ringside jogging suit, the colors mainly consisting of black with red and white trims, the top mainly a zip-up jacket, while the bottom is a wind pants. Great for working out, bad to go out with someone, oh say like a girl. The only thing he would keep are the running shoes that's he wearing. Say whatever the hell you guys want about them, these shoes are damn comfortable. Best of all, the colors matches pretty much with any sort of clothes he wears, because it's main color is white, with black trims and a green plastic bottom.

**Personality: **No he's not a sue. He's just extremely cocky that shows off his body because of bragging-rights. He was two-hundred and fifteen pounds before he started to do his cardio training. He can seem overconfident and brash, "but you're not brash if you can back it up." He is quick to anger, and always voices his opinion, even when it may have negative consequences. During his happier times, he enjoys joking around in battle, poking fun at his allies and enemies alike. However make no mistake, even with this kind of an asinine personality, there is a reason why he's chosen to become one of the many digidestined.**  
****Likes: **Cooking and Gymnastics**  
****Dislikes: **Disgustingly Fatty Foods

**History (A history about your OC or yourself if your willing to put in yourself into the story):** There is no way in hell I'm going to tell a bunch of strangers about my life.  
**Others**: He's sometimes a dork whenever there are girls that he actually have his heart going "lub dub".

**Crest**: Wouldn't you like to know? (Reliability)  
**Partner Digimon: **And spoil the fun? Hell no.**  
****Partner Personality: **Bah, you guys will figure it out.


	2. O Holy Fuck, I Think We're Going To Die

**Joshua Chung**: Yo, name's Josh and I'm here with an important message, so read it you fucking bitches.

The following is a fan-based story about an anime that uses virtual pet.

Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Season 2, Digimon Tamers, Digimon Frontier, Digimon Data Squad and that new Digimon series that starts with an "x" that I never bother to find out about, the Digimon Games, and Mangas are all owned by Bandai, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and some American Company that Wiki never wrote in. It might be Jetex or whatever the hell it is. All I know is that it starts with a "J"...or did that change as well? See I hate America for always buying and changing the ownership and all that shenanigans.

Please support the official release...you fucking fucktards.

* * *

This is home, Planet Earth-

Oh wait, we already did this in chapter one. Crap, ok...where were we again? Oh right! We were at the Harrahs Hotel in Lake Tahoe.

Everyone was at the reception table, including me. The supervisors all piled us up to have a head count. While they were doing that, I was watching the news about the sudden weather. While I was doing that I was chewing on some edamame soybeans. While I was doing that, I was relaxing on a couch not giving a damn about the world around me.

And people say that there is no such thing as multitasking.

"Um excuse me?" I looked to my left. A cute looking girl with brown eyes, black hair with bangs swept to the side, glanced at me while looking around. Her blue short sleeve, v-neck, hoodie was hooding her had as her legs twitched a bit behind her white shorts with blue stripes on the sides. Her fingers were rubbing against each other, which was the only part naked on her hand as she was wearing black fingerless gloves, and her blue and black shoes were shuffling on the ground. She looked startled at the crowd of high school seniors all around, with the adults screaming their lungs out to shut them up.

"What's going on?"

"Our school is on a field trip. Some of the kids were going to go to mountain for some snowboarding and skiing, but well...the blizzard happened." Not going to lie, I'm an asshole, but I'm only an ass to dudes that really piss me off. I'm rarely "that guy" whenever I'm around girls, however there are some exceptions to that. Especially annoying dykes that have problems with me.

I really hate those hot, annoying, lesbians. Why are all the hot looking girls gay or taken?

"I see..." She nodded as I popped in another edamame. Normally I don't eat this crap, but after working out, they became my best friends. Portable and delicious at the same time.

"Um..." Rolling my eyes I looked back at the girl who was still next to me who still looked a bit too unsure of what the hell is going on. "Can I ask you a favor?" Oh great, girls and favors. This is definitively not good. Usually it involves with finding her parents or something. "I know this might be asking too much, but I have a brother and I got separated with him."

I fucking knew it.

Well at least it's a brother. Otherwise the parents will bitch about how their daughter's virtue was violated by a disgusting Asian man.

...ok maybe I'm over thinking things.

"So you want me to help you find your brother?"

"Well...not exactly, I want you to do the opposite." That made me blink as she scratch her head. "I need you to hide me somewhere, my brother is kind of an annoying dick."

...hehe, she said dick.

I looked back at the chaperone and back at the girl. In the end I shrugged, "Sure why not? I could kill some time before they realize I'm gone." Pocketing my bag of edamame, I got out of the couch and stretched my arms up in the air. Five minutes sitting on that couch and I'm already stiff.

"Joshua Chung, resident jackass and professional douchebag at your service." The girl giggled thinking that I was just trying to make her laugh, but little does she know I just flat out told her the truth.

In a sense, I'm more of a dick than her brother.

-o0O0o-

It took us a damn while to try and not get caught by the chaperones, but once we got out of the fire, we found ourselves into haven as the two of us talked about...nothing really. Oh and for those who are wondering who she is-

Oh wait, the screen is getting smaller again.

**Katarina Alexandria Lione  
****10th Grade  
High School**

...holy crap, that's a long ass name. No wonder she told me to call her "Kat".Well anyways, I thought at first Kat was a quiet girl, but when she slowly started to open up to me? Oh lord, that girl won't just shut up. Not going to lie, she is pretty fun to hang around with but damn girl you need to chill out for a minute. Oh and if anyone meets up with her, here's a little heads up.

Don't ever mention about soccer. It's the only reason she's not shutting up.

"Um, not that I don't like taking about Oswaldo Vizcarrondo and his awesomeness, but why are we here?" she asked as we reached to four fourteen, where the two of us walked to room 1419.

"I'm picking up my friend." I stopped her and pushed her back a few steps behind me. "Remember when I told you that I'm a professional douchebag? Well..." I kicked the door, making Kat jump at the sudden action.

"HEY LENA! GET YOUR SMALL RUSSIAN ASS OUT HERE! CHAPERONE IS DOING A HEADCOUNT!"

Kat blinked when she heard a light tone russian ranting about something, "Just a minute, Ee'm busy killing Linch King wofer here."

Oh for the love of...

"LENA! THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT!"

"Yes yes ee know..."

"You should probably leave her alone-"

"Professional douchebag." I reminded her as I kicked the door once more, "IF YOU DON'T COME OUT HERE IN FIVE SECONDS I'M NOT GOING TO BUY YOU CINNAMON ROLL AT CINNABON ANYMORE!"

Suddenly the door opened as a short, pale skinned, girl came out with a murderous glare that made Kat flinch. Her white hoodie was covering her small tussle of reddish-brown hair which matched her red n' black baseball cap. Her red n' gold short sleeved hoodie zipped up, giving her an ominous look, finishing off with her pair of baggy jean cargo shorts, and black and white regular sneakers.

"If zere veren'd any Cinnabon here, I vould have keeled you for byeeeng so loud."

"I love you too shorty."

**Lena Volkov  
12th Grade**  
**High School **

-o0O0o-

"You leeyed, you jyerk." She grumbled, while munching on the sugary pastry.

"Three years of my bitching, and you still haven't figured that out yet?" Kat was also eating a cinnamon roll with a big smile on her face as the three of us walked through the casino section of the halls. "Shorty I'm so heartbroken, after all the adventures that we went through."

"Don'd call me shordy."

"Sorry-"

"Beside, ze girl behind me is mooch shorter zan me." I stopped and turned around. "Holy shit, shorty, there's someone actually more shorter than you!"

I groaned in pain as both girls decked me in the guts, falling onto the ground with a audible thump.

"Sucker punch. Not cool..." I moaned out as I slowly got off the ground.

"Sucker punch. Way too cool. Especially when it's someone that I don't even know." My eyes twitched at the familiar voice as I turned around and looked at the one person I really didn't look forward to see.

Meet my number one nemesis. Like Superman to Lex. Spiderman to Green Goblin. Batman to Joker. Pikachu to Raichu.

Slowly getting off of the ground I glared at the teen with that god awful green t-shirt with darkwash jeans, black and red reebok shoes clashed against my black-green and white running shoes as his face was being covered by his gray hoodie. But just with that one phrase I knew who it was.

"Kyler, shut the fuck up."

**Kyler Evans  
****11th Grade  
High School**

No, I didn't mispronounce his name. That's legitimately his name: Kyler Evans. Not Tyler. Kyler.

One reason why I don't like this kid are because of several reasons. 1) He and I are about the same height. 2) He freaking looks like a god damn anime sue with his Heterochromia condition. 3) He's almost more of a douche bag than me.

Key word: Almost

"So what's up Chung? Getting your ass whipped by a bunch of girls?"

"Least I got girls."

"I'm nod relatet to heem een any way."

"Just met him."

You bitches.

-o0O0o-

Now most of you guys are wondering: How the hell is a Russian girl here in Lake Tahoe? Is she here on a family vacation? Did she move here? Disownment? Nah, none of those things happened- well except for the second one. Apart from that, she's a foreign exchange student here. Another thing you should know about our school is that we accept numbers of foreign exchange students from different country...

...and for some odd apparent reason, that's significant...

...why?

"Yosha."

Oh that's why.

Turning around, I saw fellow swim member of our varsity swim team and one of my best friends Anya Blaze. Her black jacket was open, showing that fit swim body that we all get from the demon coach's training. Oh and FYI, she's not nude, she has a midnight blue colored tank top that matched with her white worn out jeans and -

"-and your wearing those converses that I bought for you!" I exclaimed as she shrugged, her eyes being covered by those sunglasses that we bought for her for the snowboarding trip.

Anya is from Iceland. At first I thought, 'a place filled with ice'; but then she explained that it was actually green.

So...Greenland was filled with ice while Iceland was filled with Green...what the fu-

"Wait...is your hair wet?" Indeed her hair is indeed very wet as the Icelandic girl touched her wet head. "Five-thousand yardage swim."

"In a middle of a blizzard!"

"Training." She simply said as if that explained everything for her reason to swim while there was a freaking blizzard going on outside. I looked at her in shock. Anya, your hot and all, but sometimes I wonder what the hell is going on in your brain. Hell, even I'm not that crazy enough to do something like that.

**Anya Blaze  
****12th Grade  
****High School**

-o0O0o-

It took me a while, but I finally realized something very important.

"Why does everyone have a fucking hoodie except for me? Is it hoodie day or something?" I muttered as Lena glared at my direction. "Is zere even a reason vy vere here?"

"I got bored, and I wanted to bring my best friend out for a walk."

"I'm not your best friend." Shorty reprimanded as I patted her on the head. "I love you too."

That does bring out a good question...why am I doing this? Oh right, it all started with "hiding from brother" thing. Now why did I invite Shorty (Lena)? Oh right, to piss her off. Besides too much WOW is not good for anyone's health. Douche-bag (Kyler) just joined just for the hell of it, and Anya has nothing else to do. Speaking of Anya...

"Should you get dried off? You might get sick."

"Don't get sick."

"There's always a chance you know? You should at least put on your hoodie-"

"Never."

It's always these short phrases with her, which is probably the reason why most girls and some guys find her "cool". I don't see what's so cool about it...I mean sure it's pretty badass for her to pull it off and shrug off most things with nonchalance, but that still doesn't make her-

Oh fuck it, she's cool -

"Help!"

Well if there's one person that's not cool it's the person that just yelled out help. I looked around for the source and saw a middle height gal with tan skin and brown hair with bright blue eyes. Her hair is usually worn wavy and is parted to the side, slightly covering her left eye. But there was no doubt that behind that hair, her expression was filled with terror.

"Help me please!"

It's just some random girl, if you ignore her she'll just go away.

"Please!"

Oh fuck she's crying...

"Josh I think we should help her." I looked at Kat and blinked. "Why the hell are you telling me this, I'm not your dad."

She blinked. "Oh right."

She's talkative, hyper and an airhead. Kat is just a case of aces. The Mexican walked over and chatted with the girl as she began to slowly calm down-

Oh fuck the screen is growing small, please don't tell me she's actually one of the main characters in this story-

**Ryder Cook  
****12th Grade  
****High School**

...fuck she is.

-o0O0o-

Apparently the girl that was crying has a major case of autophobia: meaning, she's literally scared of being alone. It took her a while to get her to talk to Kat, but the two were off to a good start. Luckily for me, I didn't have to hear Kat's chatter about soccer anymore...because the girl that we picked up is also a soccer fanatic, so the two instantly became fast friends.

For someone whose really scared of being alone, she sure as hell can talk a lot.

Oh and luckily it's not hoodie day, because the new girl was not wearing a hoodie!

"If zis is ze only reason vy I'm out here, I'm going back to my room-"

"If you stay with us shorty, I'll take you to the arcade downstairs."

"...five more minutes von't hurt."

Good! I distracted her from WOW. Joshua you did justice-

BAM!

-and you bumped and landed on top of someone...that someone with big boobs...

"If your done sleeping on my boobs, can you get off?" A bored voice toned out as I slowly rose my head off of her comfortable bosom and looked at who it was that I was lying on those fleshy pillows. Dark brown, almost black, hair stopping mid back. The hair was pulled back, revealing her brown eyes. My eyes wandered down. Large chest, slim waist, wide hips, long legs.

"Up here." My head snapped back up as I stared at her brown eyes, which here behind her black under-rimmed glasses, though my eyes did wandered back down.

I did ask her a very stupid question...

"Aren't you cold in those?"

SMACK!

**Yui Kijima  
Freshman College  
Tokyo U**

-o0O0o-

"You alright?" Ryder, the one with the autophobia, asked as I rubbed my cheeks. We were all outside, at the pool deck. Why? I...don't really know-

"What the hell!" Kyler points at the sky as we all looked up- wait...

"Why are you with us again?" I looked over towards Yui, who was now sporting a black trench coat that 'I' had to pay.

"I got nothing else to do."

Somehow...that's the number one excuse that most of this group has.

Where were we? Oh yeah, what was up in the sky.

You won't believe it.

The Aurora Borealis.

The thing that's suppose to be in Alaska.

It's shining here in Lake Tahoe.

Taking out my iPhone I began to record the monumental moment. This is an astronomical moment! Something that's not suppose to be happening in California is actually happening in California! Oh man, and we're all up front to see this!

I bet everyone here is recording this and-

_Dadadah! DadaDah! Dadadah! Dadadah! Dadadah! DadaDah! Daaaaah! Daaaah! Dadada! DadaDah! Dadadah! DadaDah! Daaaaaah! Dah!_

We turned towards Lena...

...who took out her DS...

...and was playing her Pokemon Black...

...or White...

She looked at us with a blink. "Vhat? I can't keel Linch King, so I'll beat Cynzia."

Lena, you fucking game addict. "The fucking Northern Lights is up in the god damn sky in fucking California and your playing fucking Pokémon?"

"It's Cynzia, ze last boss."

"But the Aurora-"

"Cynzia. Sinnoh Champion. _Last Boss._"

Oh fuck it, I give up.

"Um...what the heck is that?" I looked back up in the sky. Some sort of green vortex is...in the sky?

"The fu-"

Suddenly it spat out meteors.

Let me repeat, bold and scream that.

"**METEORS!" **

And they were coming right towards us.

"AHHH!"

"AHHH!"

"AHHH!"

"Cynzia you bitch, you keeled my Zoroark."

"LENA GET YOUR ADORABLE SMALL RUSSIAN ASS DOWN!" I pushed her down as I covered her body with my own, in the corner of my eyes I watched as Anya jumped in between Ryder and Yui while little Kat leaped in front of Kyler.

Does she seriously think she's going to protect Kyler? Though I have to give her props for trying-

BOOOOM!

Smoke filled our visions and our lungs as we all coughed wildly. Luckily for us the smoke soon dissipated as I looked around...

...looks like no one got hurt? I looked down as Lena glared at me.

"You alright-"

I screamed in pain as she suckered punch me once more in the guts, rolling off of her small frame she looked at her DS and back at me. "You froze my game."

"I saved you, and your worried about your damn DS!" I groaned out as I slowly got off of the ground. "Everyone alright?"

I got a nod from Anya, moving away from the other two. Ryder looked a bit unnerved at the meteor attack while Yui, even thought there was that cold expression on her face, broke out in cold sweats.

"I'm good!"

...and Kat is still freaking hyper, even after we were almost killed.

"Just what the hell were those things?" Kyler muttered as he slowly moved towards one of the small holes. I looked around the place and found that there was virtually nothing damaged.

What surprised me though is that there was no one coming up here to see what just happened.

Maybe it was taking them time to get here?

Suddenly light burst from the holes. "HUMANAHUMANA!" I jumped back as six more lights burst from the ground.

It...was strange.

How was it strange?

Well these small square things slowly rose out of the hole that the meteor made.

...and then I had to say something stupid again.

"Are they from outer space...you think aliens sent us bombs or something?"

No one bother to say anything, so enamored with the light that was floating right in front of them. So I did the next stupidest thing to do whenever there is something strange in front of you...

I grabbed it.

Slowly opening it in my hands I gasped. "Oh my god...you guys..."

They looked at me as I turned around and showed them...a small rectangular device.

"THE ALIENS SENT US TAMAGOTCHIES!"

That made Lena instantly jump for one as the some wearily grabbed the devices, while others just out right plucked them from the sky, excited at the devices. I looked back at mine...and frown.

"God my Tamagotchi looks weird. It's like a mini raccoon without limbs, and it's wearing a weird ass hockey mask with horns."

"At least yours has a hockey mask." Kyler grumbled, "Mine looks...cute..."

"Really? Can we trade? Mine looks like a miniature butt." Kat moaned as Lena looked at hers.

"...its a sun..."

"Is that a rain drop?" Yui muttered as I walked over towards Anya and Ryder. Ryder was smiling while Anya was...frowning?

"What's up Anya?" She showed me hers as I looked at it...a small ball with angel wings.

"It's too cute..."

Aren't girls suppose to like cute things?

Before I could say anything about it-

WOOOOOSH!

We turned around and gapped.

"Ok, that's it. This day is officially the most fucked up day ever." I muttered as a huge wave burst from the pool as it opened up like two pairs of doors. Oh and it's totally not crazy that this thing was sucking us all in.

It sucked even more that I was the first one that got sucked in.

But since I'm me, who is a calm and a mature person, I knew exactly how to handle the situation.

"HOOOOOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

* * *

**Joshua's Note**

****Yeah I know, it's another boring chapter. However don't worry! We still have the third chapter! The third chapter is where everything comes together...

Oh and I still need one more OC

This OC must have this crest: Love.

Everything else is taken.

Sorry!


	3. Holy Jizz! They're Not Tamagotchis!

**Kat**: Hiya guys, I'm (insert ridiculously long name here), but everyone just calls me Kat for short. I'm here with an important message. So listen up!

The following is a fan-based story.

Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Season 2, Digimon Tamers, Digimon Frontier, Digimon Saviors, Digimon Xros Wars; as well as Digimon World 1, 2, 3 and X as well as Digimon Savior: Another Mission, Digimon Story, and Digimon Story: Sunburst and Moonlight, Lost Evolution, Super Xros Wars, Digimon Racing, Digimon Battle Chronicle, Digimon Tamers: Battle Evolution, and Digimon Park; along with C'mon Digimon, V-Tamer 01, Cronicle, D-Cyber, Next and Xros Wars the Manga are all owned by Bandai, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, FOX Kids, Kid Station, and Akiyoshi Hongo.

Please support the official release...

...whew that's along of Digimons.

* * *

This is home, Planet Earth-

Oh wait, no it's not. We're not on planet earth at all!

We're in hell! :)

...why the hell am I smiling about that? Well that's because all those people that said that hell is a burning inferno and that there are giant ass demons that are suppose to torture you guys to the ends of days, it's all bullshit!

Hell is just a dark place! A dark empty space with nothing to do!

...either that or I'm just asleep...

...I hope it's the first option.

Ok, enough about that, let's get back to the story.

Sleep. A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement, and responsiveness to external stimuli; in short, mans second, maybe first, best friend next to dogs. It was something euphoric and ritualistic; it was something magical and sacred. No other foreign entity could stop this natural force of good that helps the body to recover-

Thump

I groaned as I felt something land on my chest. It wasn't heavy, nothing like that at all; in fact...it felt like nothing. Though it did knock the wind out of me for a few milliseconds, but apart from that? I continued to sleep.

Boing. Boing. Boing

I groaned even louder as the thing on my chest began to jump up and down. Usually if it was someone else, I would have just ignored it, but the bouncing was becoming incessantly bothersome. It was like playing on a level of Prince of Persia, only the player doesn't know where to go, how to get to another area, and fail every time he tries to get there-

The bouncing finally made me twitch as I opened my eyes to see who it was to try to mess up with my beautiful ceremony of the human psychological nature-

I blinked when a pair of dark chocolate, circular-shaped, eyes stared at me.

I stared back.

It blinked.

I blinked back.

Now I may not have the best grades in my school, but I am pretty sure that this bastard isn't part of any animal species in my world. I'm not even sure if this guy is actually a "guy".

It stared at me as its black eyes blink rapidly. What was on me, to simplify, was a limbless...a freaking limbless chocolately goop with eyes. I was staring at this...thing. It also has three horns, which just...yeah it just looks weird.

You know for some odd reason, this thing looks familiar... I know I've seen it somewhere, but where...

(**T-minus 5 seconds for reaction shot**)

...

...

...

...

...Oh my god.

I can't believe I'm saying this...

...but hell have Tamagotchis, and they're alive.

"Oh fuck me, this is going to be like taking care of a dog..."

"You know, fuck isn't really a nice word to say."

...My god, the Tamagotchi just talked. Ok Josh, don't panic. There is a completely legitimate way to handle this situation-

"AHHHHHH!" The Tamagotchi reacted in the same way as it's eyes widened at the suddenness at my action.

"AHHHHHHH!" It bounced back as I pointed at it.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

This went back and forth for about a good solid two minutes.

ARE YOU A TAMAGOTCHI?"

"I-I beg your pardon?" I took a breath and calmed myself down. Yelling at something really cute and cuddly...ok not cuddly but something extremely cute is not something that a mature person would do. So calmly I asked it, "Are you a Tamagotchi?"

"W-What's a t-tamagotchi?" It quietly asked. Well damn, I watched the anime Naruto and this girl called Hinata was mumbling really quietly and incoherently that I could barely understand her.

But this tamagotchi just takes that to a whole new level. "You have to speak up, I can barely understand you."

'I-I asked w-what a t-t-t-tamagotchi is..."

"...so your not a tamagotchi?"

"I-I don't know what that is."

I showed it my tamagotchi device. "Technically your suppose to be inside this thing, and I'm suppose to take care of you with this."

"T-Then no, I-I'm not a t-tamagotchi..."

Ah man, what a bummer... The two of us distinctively stared at one another before I sat down and stared at it right in the eyes. "So...what the hell are you anyways."

"I-I'm a Digimon."

Uh-huh...

...nope, not ringing any bells here.

"Be specific." The tamagotchi was happy to oblige my request.

"I-I-I'm Kokomon..." The Tama- Oh wait, my bad. The Digimon brought something out and- wait...is that a stat screen? "I-It's not much, b-but a lot of people a-are saying that m-my stat screen is s-somewhat better than K-Koromon's." Not knowing what a Koromon is, I simply looked down at the stat screen and read what his stats were.

**Kokomon  
In-Training  
The Extremely Cute Chocolatey Loving Tamagotchi that Josh Can't Help But To Love Digimon  
Power Level: It's Not Too Good (But That's Ok Because It's Adorable)  
Attack: Koko Crusher (See even the attack is adorable)**

"This isn't a stat screen, it's just a bio of what you are."

"I-I guess..."

Oh...shit, I think it's about to cry. Ok calm down Josh, what would Jesus do at this moment?

...he'd probably preach about how crying is a part of life and that it would- NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BRING OUT CHRISTIANITY! I got to find a way to stop it crying before it...oh man what do I do...

It's eyes began to glisten with water.

"B-But I guess it's a really good attempt of it! I'm sure with practice you can make a kick-ass stat screen!"

"R-Really?"

Wow, that's all it took.

"Y-Yeah!" I comforted as I bent down. "I bet that you can make a kick ass stat screen! I mean, your friends all said that your stat screen is as good as that Koro-thingy."

It sniffed before bringing out a big smile. "T-Thank you Josh, t-that made me feel better."

Aw...No wonder it's called the Extremely Cute Chocolatey Loving Tamagotchi that Josh can't help but to love- wait a minute, how the hell is there a single race of species just to make me love them?

"Hang on a minute." I paused it as I looked at the three horned chocolate fun with a blink, "H-How do you know my name?"

"W-Well..."

"Josh! Is that you?" I looked behind and blinked. "Kat? What are you doing here in hell?"

"Hell? Isn't hell suppose to be fires and brimstones?"

"Nope hell is suppose to be- why the hell are we in a jungle?"

I just realized that we're in a jungle...wow...just flies right over my head.

"So...what are you doing, I heard you scream with- is that your digimon?"

"You know digimons?"

"No, but this little fella has been telling me about him." She moved and-

"Is that an actual living, breathing, anus?" I asked it as I looked at the pink ass looking creature with antennas. "Hiya! Are you one of Kat's friend?" The taking anus asked as I scratched my head. "I dunno if I would call her my friend cause I met her in only one chapter."

"What do you mean by a chapter-"

"I'm mentally unstable."

Smooth move Josh, that totally made yourself look good. The Tamagotchi- damn it! Digimon and Tamagotchi look the same to me! Anyways, the pink ass looked at me before glaring over at Kokomon, who flinched at the intense stare. "H-Hi Koromon."

Your kidding, that's Koromon?

**Koromon  
****In-Training  
****The Super Annoying Comic Relief that Loves Foods And Hates Kokomon Digimon  
****Power Level: Ok (But it's not as cute as Kokomon!)  
****Attack: Bubble (See, even the name sounds uncute!)**

The digimon that's rivaled with this Koromon that I've been hearing about is rivaled with an talking anus?

You have got to be shitting me.

"If I am high, I am tripping so much balls here..."

The talking ass walked- oh wait my bad. The talking ass **bounced **over towards Kokomon and scowled at the chocolatey cuteness as if it it was some sort of a disease...

...then...

"MY STAT SCREEN IS BETTER THAN YOURS!" I felt an urge to just smack myself.

"I-I'm sorry, b-but I t-think m-mine is better." That urge just increased. At least speak up if your going to defend yourself Kokomon.

"NO, MINE IS! MINE AT LEAST HAVE RATINGS ON IT!"

"I-I beg your pardon, b-but I d-don't see a-any ratings on it."

"AT LEAST IT'S NOT MOCKING MY PARTNER!"

"A-At least i-it mentions about m-my partner..." Yeah! You tell em' Kokomon!

"MY PARTNER IS AT LEAST CUTER THAN YOURS!"

"I-I believe my p-partner l-looks more d-dashing than yours." Dashing? Well that's something new.

"YEAH RIGHT, WITH THOSE KIND OF CLOTHES? HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING TO BE RUNNING A MARATHON!"

Oh now that's just mean. I looked up at Kat who was scratching her head, like as if she was exasperated with the situation already. "Um...he's been following me ever since I woke up here." Sighing, she dropped her head down. "I have no idea what's going on here..."

"You and me both..."

We looked at our tamagotchis with a tired look, who were still debating on whose was better...and now they're talking about their evolution line or something. Whatever the hell that is.

-o0O0o-

"So where are we exactly?"

"W-We're on File Island..." Kokomon helpfully answered, Koromon pitching in with the answer.

"...and where's that?" Kat asked politely as the two simultaneously answered, though Kokomon was more reserved than Koromon's answer. "in the digital world!"

"...and where the fuck is that?" Koromon grinned while Kokomon frowned.

"We don't know! YAY!"

"...so we're not in hell?"

"Nope! We're in the digital world, and we don't know where that is! YAY!"

Yay? How the hell is that a yay? We're on a god forsaken island with no way off of it! Hell, I rather be in hell! At least there I know how to get out (That is if Dante wasn't bullshitting about his trip to hell with Virgil).

I groaned as I looked around the scenery. Large trees loomed over our small bodies, mountains blocked our visions beyond the horizon and the sun was up in the sky, blaring and shinning down on our skins.

"Well," Kate began as she stretched her body out, "I guess we'll have to check out what this place is like."

"...and how the hell are we suppose to do that?" I demanded as she smiled. She points at one of the trees behind me, "Could you push me up a bit, I can handle the rest from here."

I watched, while pushing Kat up to one of the branches, as the girl swung onto branch after branch with each one being more acrobatic than the next-

"Your not using your hips Kat! Yours more of your hips, it'll help you swing-"

"Koromon! Now's not the time!" Kat screamed back as it paused...

"Can I show Josh my stat screen?"

Kat, I swear to god, if you let him do that I will forever hate you with every fiber of my -

"Sure, whatever, just don't bother me for a while! I need to concentrate!"

KAT YOU BITCH- wait where the hell did that pink ass go? I looked around and soon found that the pink ass called Koromon was climbing on the tree that Kat was just climbing with it's two ears...or antennas...or whatever the hell they are.

I don't give a shit, I just hope that he stays there for a while.

-o0O0o-

"In a moment,  
Anyone can give up,  
And turn,  
To run away..."

"So...Kokomon, whatcha singing?" I asked curiously. This little fella over here didn't irritate me like Kokomon, and it's really polite, so I might as well try and get to know it a little more. Also I'm bore and there is nothing else to do around here except to sleep or...sleep.

"I-It's a song that I-I made up." Kokomon answered quietly, and politely, as I nodded my head. "What was the occasion? You were bored?"

"W-Well...that and...I..."

"Lonely?" Somehow I could see that this fella was the type to be alone. The Tamagotchi nodded it's head as it lowered it's head, avoiding my gaze. Oh man this guy has issues. Well I was like it so I know what it's going through. I mean, I think everyone could relate to him. It's shy, soft spoken and not that brave.

...well it's time to change that!

"What's the song about?" I asked as the chocolate cuteness shook it's head. "I-I didn't finish it yet so..."

"You at least know the theme?" It looked at me...before slowly nodding it's head. "It about someone whose scared and that -"

"JOSH!" The Tamagotchi flinched when Kat screamed. I swear to god, I'm going to kill that 5 foot midget for ruining this. I looked up and saw Kat dangling on a tree branch for dear life, Koromon barely holding on as a heavy buzzing noise entered my ears- holy shit, is that a big ass stag beetle?

"Oh shit, that thing looks so damn scary, I think it's going to kill someone-"

"T-That's cause it w-will!" Kokomon jumped on my head. "Who in the fucking hell said that you can get on my head-"

"That's Kuwagamon!"

"...and what does he do?"

Luckily for me, the stat replaced our whole scene.

**Kuwagamon  
Champion  
The "Bitch Imma kill, rape, and eat the living fuck out of yo ass" Digimon (Kokomon, don't even try to fight, be it's bitch and it'll let you live)  
Power Level: Bitch, you do not want to piss me off  
****Attack: Double Penetration with My Two Horns**

"AH!" Kat screamed as I opened my arms."KAT! JUMP!"

She looked at the giant bug, and back to me. "DON'T WORRY KAT! SINCE YOUR SMALL, I CAN EASILY CATCH YOU!" While I was telling her this, Koromon spat out...a bubble...yeah a bubble...

...and that bubble made the digimon go off course...

...that must be one hell of a bubble.

Kat leaped off, and landed right in my arms. "You see, I told you that I'd catch-"

I dropped her instantly when she decided to sucker punch me in the guts. "Why did you-"

"You said I'm small."

"I didn't mean it to insult you..."

"catch me. Catch me. Catch me. Catch me. Catch me. Catch me. Catch me!"

We didn't catch Koromon.

"GO TO HELL!" He screeched as he smashed face first onto the ground.

"Koromon!" Kat rushed to the smaller digimon as Kokomon and I followed behind. "Are you ok?" The Digimon nodded it head as I looked at it, "Why in the hell did you spat bubble at that dangerous bastard?" I asked as it slowly looked up at me.

"I-It usually works..."

"...well why didn't it this time?"

"Because somebody didn't freaking catch me!"

"I'm not your servant! Why the hell would I catch you?"

"Well...thank you Koromon, for protecting me." Kat said with a smile.

"Um, guys, not to be a dick or anything." I interrupted as I pointed up at the sky, "but that thing is coming back for a second round!" Kokomon leaped off of my head as it bounced over to an opening. "Q-Quick, h-hurry over h-here! I-I know a p-place that'll k-keep us safe for a t-time being..."

...well, it's not like I can die. I mean, even though the digimon say that it's the Digital world, I still think it's hell-

"W-Were h-here!" Kokomon announced as it...jumped inside a tree...

"This is more weird than the time I drank under a table cause some weak-sauce couldn't hold his alcohol."

"What do you mean?" Kat asked as I rolled my eyes. "Nevermind, just follow the annoying tamagotchi!"

"But he's not a tamagotchi-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

-o0O0o-

"So this is what the tree looks like inside..." I looked at the vast empty space and said one thing that came to my mind.

"Code Lyoko."

"Um, I don't think-"

"CODE. FUCKING. LYOKO."

Kat simply threw her hands up in the air. "Josh, you watch way too many T.V."

"You know it's ok to come out now." A familiar Russian accented voice echoed out as we all looked at each other before stepping out-

"SHORTY!" I cried as I hugged the small Russian girl, to her ire. "I MISSED YOU SHORTY! I THOUGHT YOU DIED SHORTY! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU SHORTY-"

Gasping in pain, I released my grip on my hug. Clutching my stomach, I weakly looked up at the glaring Russian. "W-Why is it always in the guts?" I breathed in before slowly getting up off the ground. "Ok first thing is first..." I point at the thing that was behind on her back.

"...is that a sun?" I asked. Lena groaned. "I wished I never found this thing..."

"Hi guys! I'm Sunmon!" It called out behind her back as it bounced off of her back and onto the ground. Now this is weird, usually whenever the digimon would introduce itself to us a "stat screen" would pop out. I guess this on isn't all that important then-

**Sunmon  
In Training  
The Really Happy Bubbly Annoying Naïve Digimon  
****Power Level: It's Weak, and unfortunately it's not as cute as Kokomon  
Attack: Starlight (Yeah I really don't know how this one is going to be useful)**

- oh wait, there it is.

"Guys," Lena began as she looked at the Digimon with a twitch of her eye. "I think I'm high."

"To be honest," I comforted her, "With everything that's going on around here I think we're all high- oh god! What the hell is that!"

Its...its...

...so CUTE!

...but it's not as cute as Kokomon!

Kat instantly squealed at the sight of a sleeping blue baby dragon/dino like thing, especially when it was sleeping next to a flustered Kokomon.

"Good god they're like zombies. Tamagotchi Zombies. They're like everywhere!"

...wow, I do watch way too much T.V- that's besides the point! Stat Screen! What the hell is that thing!

**DemiVeemon  
In TrainingThe Really Adorable, Chick Magnet, Little Bro Digimon  
Power Level: It's Really Weak, But That's Alright Cause It's Cute (But Not as Cute as Kokomon!)  
Attack: Pop Attack (Isn't that just adorable?)**

"Well what do yah know, I found the fourth of the Mystery Gang." I twitched as I looked over towards Kyler, who has that freaking smirk on his face. Damn it, if only there was a legitimate reason to punch the piss out of him. "Now all we need to do is to find Scooby and we're good."

"By Scooby Doo, I hope you don't mean me."

Oh thank god, Anya is here! Ryder's also there too!

...and they're carrying two of the most adorable looking things I've laid eyes on. One of them was like a mini angel with big eyes, and the other was just a furry little bastard with a horn.

**Puttimon  
In Training  
The Unbelievably Cute and Quite Possibly the Rival of DemiVeemon and Kokomon Digimon  
Power Level: ...I don't know, I mean it looks weak but... (But it has no chance against Kokomon, but still...)  
Attack: Angel Dust (See this sounds dangerous but who knows?)**

**Tsunomon  
In Training  
The Really Horny and Funny Cuddly Looking Digimon (Not sexually)  
Power Level: Bitch, I got a horn! (It's more intimidating looking than Kokomon's I have to admit)  
Attack: Tackle (Like Pokemon!)**

"Ok, why is everyone's tamagotchis look freaking adorable?" I demanded, being surrounded by adorable and cuddly things made my. Right when I said that, Yui stepped in with her tamagotchi at hand.

A raindrop.

A freaking raindrop with eyes and a smile.

"Lemme guess...Raindropmon?"

**Moonmon  
In -**

"HOW THE FLYING FUCK MONKEY IS THAT A MOON?"

**Moonmon  
In Training  
The "How The Hell Is That A Moon?" Digimon  
Power Level: Dude, before I answer that, how the hell is that a moon?  
Attack: Dark Burst (See, it's attack is like based off of a water theme, it's totally a Raindropmon)**

"Dah?"

Don't try to be cute, freaking moon that looks like a raindrop.

"So...what are you guys?" Ryder asked as Moonmon leaped out of Yui's hand before landing on the ground with a "Splat!".

...it soon regenerated into it's raindrop looking form.

...yeah definitively not a moon.

"We're..." Koromon began as every tamagotchi gathered around said.

"...Digimon, Digital Monsters-"

"WAIT!" They stopped, "So...you guys aren't Tamagotchis?"

"Josh. Really?"

I was about to respond when-

buuuuUUUUUUzzzzz...

Anya looked around.

"...you guys hear that?"

buuuUUUzzzzuuuUUUUUzzz...

Yui blinked.

"...Is that the Jaw's theme?"

buzbuzbuzbuzbuzbuzubuz(x2)

Ryder tilted her head to the side.

"...I think that's the Jaw's theme."

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUUUUUUUUZZ!

"Jesus, where the hell is that noise coming from-"

"Rawr, I'm back bitches!" The Kuwagamon flew right out of the trees as it tried to decapitate all of us. Everyone ducked-

"Lena! Is that the new Pokemon 3D on the ground?"

Correction, **_everyone_** ducked on the ground. As Kuwagamon buzz right past our head.

"There's no Pokémon on the ground-"

"NOW'S NOT THE FUCKING TIME LENA!" I picked her up as everyone made a dash for the-

"Oh come on!"

- the cliffs.

How the hell is there a cliff right when we turn around?

"Quick we can go back and-"

"HEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

Oh you got to be fucking kidding me.

Kuwagumon flew down as it's pincers gleamed menacingly under the sun. The creature roared as we stared at it dead in the face. Our protagonists are doomed to fall, doomed. It would take a miracle to get them out of this-

"WE GET IT! WE'RE ROYALLY FUCKED IF WE DON'T PULL MAGIC OUT OF OUR ASSES!"

"...I think Josh finally lost it..."

Kuwagumon slowly crept towards us, "So...which one of you do I rape first?"

"Ew...talk about beastiality. Man that's just wrong-"

"I'll start with you then!"

Me and my big freaking mouth.

"Josh?" I looked down and saw Kokomon with a smile. "I-It was an honor seeing you..."

Oh please don't go heroic on me. "Look, it's only been a day. So don't even think about killing yourself-"

"But that's it." Kokomon interrupted me. "I-I've been w-waiting for a l-long time to see you. I-I've waited and w-waited, and n-now that I f-finally get to s-see you I-I have no r-regrets."

"What...?"

"W-Were your D-Digi partners. W-We're here to p-protect you..."

"Kokomon..."

Ah damn it, it's only been a short minute talking with Kokomon and I'm already getting emotional. "You stupid...chocolate...goop thing..."

"He's right!" Koromon spoke up as it struggled to get out of Kat's grasp. "That's why we've waited for so long. To fight for a purpose!"

"Koromon..." Kat whispered.

"I'm going!" Sunmon turned to Kuwagamon only to be held tighter by the Russian. "Don't be absurd!" She admonished as DemiVeemon woke up and saw the giant ass beetle. "Oh nice! Time to fight!"

"Are you crazy! Even if you guys work together, you guys will get creamed!" This...is quite a shock. Kyler is actually worried? About someone else?

"But we have to! We need to protect you guys!" both Puttimon and Tsunomon also tried to escape from their partner's grasp, unfortunately for Puttimon Anya has a pretty strong grip on her digimon.

Yui looked at the raindrop.

"You too?" The raindrop nodded it's head, a sad smile on it's dark grey face.

"Let's go!" Koromon roared as it bounced off, the other digimons finally escaped from the other people's grasp, Puttimon had to bite on Anya's hand to make her let go. Kokomon simply looked at me...

"...you better come back alive!"

Chucking the chocolatey bastard towards Kuwagamon, it bounced side by side with the others as they slowly raced towards the demon known as Kuwagamon. "Bitches please! I'mma eat yo up befo' I shove my big red dick up them' ass!"

"Like hell you will!"

Just because our tamagotchis are off to war doesn't mean they can get back up! I pulled out my mini tamagotchi and aimed at the beetle, with the intention to blind it. "Suck it Jabroni-"

I stopped when my tamagotchi began to glow...no wait...everyone's tamagotchi's began to glow!

"The fu-"

Suddenly a rainbow pillar encased our mini tamagotchis. Light enveloped their bodies as the luminescence bounced off of the barrier and- wait...is that a guitar rift I hear in the background?

(**Digimon Soundtrack - Brave Heart {English Version}**)

Koromon's body began to morph first as the head began to grow into a short and stout _Tyrannosaurus rex_-like creature. 3 feet tall from my estimate guess. It also has flattened forearms with broad, three-clawed hands, and distinct pectoral muscles. His legs and arms are shown to be very vascular. Its tail is stubby, and its head and snout are almost as large as the rest of its body. The colors finally faded away as I finally got a good glimpse of it, the monster's skin color was amber orange skin. What made it really unique was that it had red leather belt bound around it's arms.

"Koromon...digivolves to...AGUMON!"

The next was Sunmon, and the first thing it started to grow were legs and arms. The creature grew and unlike Agumon, who was a mini dino, this one looked like a mini lion that was standing on two legs. I could see that the little guy had trinkets on it's arms and legs as well on his head. The luminous light slowly faded away as we get to see what the new creature looked like. He was a bright red color with small flames coming out of his tail and out of the metal on his forehead. He stood on two legs and had kind, blue eyes that stared at the giant Kuwagamon with a glare.

"Sunmon...digivolves to...CORONAMON!"

DemiVeemon jumped up and down as it started to change. One of the things I really noticed was that the body of the smaller digimon began to grow. Baby fat was slowly being trimmed away as a more muscular looking monster took place. The light burst away, and another lizard looking tamagotchi appeared. Unlike Agumon, who was orange, this one was a blue reptile with long arms, big hands, short leg and feet, a long tail, and two long extendants from its head that looked like ears to me. It turned around for a few seconds while it was jumping up and down, revealing it to have a white underbelly, mouth and hornlet, and a small yellow V-symbol on its forehead.

"DemiVeemon...digivolves to...VEEMON!"

Puttimon giggled before it began to change. The main alteration from it's previous form was that it's body was elongated and more slender that most others. Another things that I noticed was that it was a furry like creature like Coronamon. Once the light faded away I finally get to see a better look at what it changed into. The two things I instantly noticed was a small, golden, cartridge on it's tail and a golden ring around it's neck. It's forelimb was more smaller than the other's but it was made up with intricate golden markings around it's long body. The furry serpentine defiantly looked up at the larger insect.

"Puttimon...digivolves to...KUDOMON!"

The fifth entourage looked up at the dark sky, which shot out the rainbow pillar, as Tsunomon began to change as well. The first thing that morphed, apart from growing limbs, was the bladed horn changed into an actual horn. However what threw me off was the fur on it's upper body, while a reptilian like tail was at the bottom. Just what was it going to be? The luminosity died down as I found out that the fur was actually a fur coat, the rest of it's body was just plainly obviously reptilian. It's claws were more sharper than the others, as the creature announced it's name.

"Tsunomon...digivolves to...GABUMON!"

The sixth rose in the air. Raindropmon swung it's body left and right before separating from it's upper body. It's segmented body levitated in the air as both began to change. The top morphed into some sort of double ribbon like ornament while the actual head was changing into something...different than most others. The first being was that there were not two, but four ears that were protruding out of it's head. Also, what was more different than most other guys, was that this one had a dress coming down. The ribbon fell gently on top of the body of the enigmatic life form as it's radiance finally shined down. It was more humanoid than most other, I'll have to admit; I was looking at a blue and white rabbit like Digimon with four ears, a long strand of hair coming from her head and yellow crescent moon symbols in a few spots on her body. She looked at the digimon and gracefully announce who she was.

"Moonmon...digivolves to...LUNAMON!"

...ok now I can actually see the moon theme of that particular digimon- wait...is someone singing?

_In a moment,  
Anyone can give up and turn to run away.  
In a moment,  
You have not shown that kind of fear.  
__So keep on walking the way._

The final member of the Motley Cruë joined in the evolution. Kokomon shyly laughed when limbs began to sprout from it's body. My eyes widened when a pair of ridiculously long ears spurted out of the side of it's head as the lustrous glow on it's body died away. The main colors on the tamagotchi were brown and pink, just like chocolate, but the number one thing I could say about Kokomon?

Damn, those are big ass ears.

"Kokomon...digivolve to...LOPMON!"

I know I shouldn't say anything about this, but...

"Well that took like five freaking hours! You guys know that we could have died while you guys were changing!"

"Josh," Lopmon's timid voice called out, "I don't want to sound like a braniac, but Anime Law #6 of Temporal Variability." I stopped and blinked.

What the fu- did Lopmon just...what?

"Dragon Ball Z."

OOOOOOoooooh...

_You know it's true.  
There's something you and only you can do,  
That others dare not try,  
So that the light of this blue Earth will not die._

"In any case! Let's get em'!" Agumon roared as the others jumped along with him.

"The fuck are you bitches doin'-" Kuwagamon stopped when a rain of Tamagotchis began to terrorize him. "Oh hell naw!" It tried to fly away, but...

"Oh no you don't, Lopmon!" Agumon point towards the sky as the small chocolate rabbit, to my bewilderment, flew up high into the sky, before skydiving towards the skull of the red bastard. It smashed it's three tiny horns onto the larger monster, forcing it to land on the ground, roaring in pain. "Ah gawd dammit! That hurt like a muthafucka-"

"**Coro-Knuckles**!"

How the hell did Coronomon leap that high?

_Go and seize the dreams you love most of all!  
Go protect the friends you love everyday!  
Believe you have the drive to be strong and be true!_

The mini lion tamagotchi roared as flames burst from it's bracelet, which I realized has the zodiac symbol of libra, which covered it's fists with fire. In a flash of blinding speed the tamagotchi rapidly launched a fury of punches in the abdomen of the monster, changing it's abs from dark black to bright red. The larger beast groaned as if fell to the ground on it's back as Coronamon finished his combo with a powerful right hook.

"Why you..." It tried to get back, first raising it's head off the ground-

"**Pepper Breath**!" Agumon launched out a large orange fireball as it landed right in the mouth of Kuwagamon. It screeched as it kicked back up, trying to find a source of material to extinguish the flame in it's mouth.

_There's a new power that awaits your call.  
Your heart is where you will find the way._

"Let me help you with that sir." An English voice echoed as Kudamon aimed it's small cartridge at the mouth of the Digimon, "**Dangan Sempū**!" The elongated serpentine rapidly fired a barrage of compressed air pellets to the mouth of the digimon. It did extinguish the flames, but now it's mouth was filled with massive amount of heavily compressed O2.

"**Vee Headbutt!**" The blue dino crouched down before launching itself in the bright red abdominals of Kuwagamon. Not going to lie, it was pretty funny to see Kuwagamon spat out all the air in it's mouth, with large beady eyes giving it a comical appearance.

_When you light the fires,  
All your desires,  
Will come to light and come true...  
_

"Lopmon, Lunamon let's do this together!" Gabumon said as the two nodded their head. Lunamon quickly rushed to the side while Lopmon took the air. I watched as Lopmon began to spin it's ears like propellers, while Lunamon began to create multiple numbers of bubbles around her before twirling her four ears along with Lopmon.

"**Tiny Twister!**"

"**Lop-ear Ripple!**"

To our freaking shock, Kuwagamon was stuck in a big ass twister with bubbles that were created by both Lopmon and Lunamon. Then Gabumon made it something ridiculously cool. It was like watching something from a hollywood blockbuster film as Gabumon finished the epicness with two words.

"**Blue Blaster**!"

With a powerful breath of blue flames, the bubbles burst. Now I didn't know that Lunamon's bubbles were combustable, but even if I did I still would be in awe as the twister of bubbles changed into a twister of blue flames. The creature cries died down as we saw particles slowly flutter into the sky.

_Show me your brave heart!_

The song ended with an echo of beats as we stared at the fallen form of Kuwagamon. The wangsta was breathing heavily, and it was really doubtful that thing would get up anytime soon. Nothing was said as we all looked at our tama- no...

Fuck Tamagotchis, Digimon for life bitches.

"Daaaaamn."

Kyler took the words out of my mouth, and thanks to him the Digimons all rushed back to us. Joy were written all over their faces as each one jumped into our arms. Lopmon, flew into my arms as I grabbed the dark black and light pink Digimon.

"Josh!" It cried, though it was done quietly.

I'm going to have to work on that, but right now?

"Lopmon, you did it! You saved us all!"

"W-Well..." It shyly looked over my shoulders. "I-I wouldn't say that I saved you guys, I-I mean-"

"Oh hell no!" I interrupted the Rookie Digimon. "You did great out there! Amazing even!"

"R-Really?"

"Bitch, you think I would say that to anyone?" I joked as it quietly giggled in it's paws. Yeah buddy! We're going to party all night long! Cause today, we fried that bug's ass and-

"BITCH PLEASE!"

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

We slowly turned around to see the red stag beetle back on it's feet, with a ferocious glint in it's eyes.

I heard Lopmon whimper in my arms. Now normally I would blame the person that was the closest to me, but that would be Lopmon; and, in case you guys haven't noticed, I really like this small bastard. So I took the second thing that was the closest to me.

"AGUMON! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU KILLED US ALL!" I screamed as we all ran to the edge of the cliff-

"**Double Penetration With My Two Horns!**" I barely got out of the way as Kuwagamon missed me and struck the ground. "Ha! You missed bi- WOAH!"

Everyone began to freak out as the ground we were standing on began to fall off of the island. We were all scared, and some of us even cried. For me? Well I did two things, and two things only that a calm-minded, mature-individual, would do in this situation.

1) I screamed like a five year old girl

and

2) I thank god that those horns didn't land in my ass.

* * *

**Author's Note!**

Insane news! Thanks to a fellow reader, I found out that there is a ninth crest! The Crest of Kindness! So for those who are sad that you guys couldn't get your OC on time, well this is a good time to do it now!

Only one spot is left, who will get it?

Review please, or else Kokomon will cry her eyes out.


	4. ZOMG! We Got An Intro!

**Lena**:...how did I get stuck with this?

...

...sigh, well let's get this over with...

The following is a fan-based story.

Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Season 2, Digimon Tamers, Digimon Frontier, Digimon Saviors, Digimon Xros Wars; as well as Digimon World 1, 2, 3 and X as well as Digimon Savior: Another Mission, Digimon Story, and Digimon Story: Sunburst and Moonlight, Lost Evolution, Super Xros Wars, Digimon Racing, Digimon Battle Chronicle, Digimon Tamers: Battle Evolution, and Digimon Park; along with C'mon Digimon, V-Tamer 01, Cronicle, D-Cyber, Next and Xros Wars the Manga are all owned by Bandai, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, FOX Kids, Kid Station, and Akiyoshi Hongo.

Please support the official release...

...

...

...

...your still here? Leave me alone, I need to beat Sephiroth.

* * *

**Survival Tip #1  
Your In An Unknown Area, But You See People Around You.  
Make Sure You Befriend Them.  
****(You need 'em encase of needing a human meat-shield)**

* * *

_Previously on Digimon..._

"Don't tell Josh to start the car-"

**BOOOOOOOOOM!**

_Now back to the story._

-o0O0o-

"...how the hell did that last part had any significant in the story that I'm writing about? I seriously have no freaking idea- wait, WHY THE HELL AM I MONOLOGUING!" we fell right into the ravine and into the heavy currents where we were automatically swept by the ferocious flow of the river-

Wait...river...?

"OH SHIT! LENA CAN'T SWIM!" I took a breath before I dove into the cold stream, luckily the water wasn't filled with salt so it didn't really burn my eyes that much. Pulling myself through the current, my eyes finally saw a small form that was slowly sinking into the depth of the river. Using the muscles that I gained throughout my swimming career I quickly sprinted towards the Russian.

"Yub gueter nrrug hag graown!" (You better not have drowned!) Bubbles replaced English as I quickly pulled myself out of the depths. "ANYA!" The Icelandic butterflier quickly swam over to my direction as she took hold of Lena. "Oi! Lena! Snap out of it!"

She wasn't breathing...fuck. We need to get out of this river and perform CPR before she goes brain dead-

"HELP!" I turned around and cursed. Like partner like digimon. Coronoamon was wildly splashing in the water, trying not to drown.

"Hold on to her!"

"Don't need to tell me twice." Anya nodded as I swam against the river, getting closer and closer towards the Rookie Digimon. "Don't worry, I got you-blahobljasdiong"

That last part you read right there? That's me, being pushed into the river by that bastard of a Digimon Coronamon. "Idon'twannadrownIdon'twannadrown-OWIE!" That owie was caused by me. I shoryuken'd the bitch off of my head, knocking the bastard out. Not wasting anymore time, I pulled the Digimon out of the river as me and Anya saw open land that we could walk on.

"Race you."

Before I could register what Anya said, the girl was already going for the land, pulling along Lena with ease.

"Oh you dirty cheating bitch."

-o0O0o-

"Well that was exciting." I muttered sarcastically as the two of us pulled each of the drowned victims out of the river. Anya was already performing CPR on Lena, trying to resurrect her. As for me? I did the only thing that was smart for any man to do.

"Wake the fuck up bitch!" I elbowed it's diaphragm. The digimon spat out a geyser of water from it's mouth, coughing out the remainder of the water from it's body. "Oh wow, I thought I was going to die-"

I smacked it across the face.

"Why did you smack me?" It asked, heartbroken that someone friends with Lena would hit him.

"YOU ALMOST MADE ME DROWN!"

"You? What about me?" It cried. "I'm not immune to water like you guys-"

"What are you, a freaking Pokemon!" I rolled my eyes as a shadow loomed over our head.

"J-Josh!"

Ah, I'd recognize that timid voice anywhere. I felt paws gently scrape against my head as Lopmon softly landed on my head. "How are you dry?" I asked as the second smallest digimon scratched it's head. "I-I can fly..."

"Well damn, that's pretty damn impressive!" Lopmon blushed as I scratched it's belly, making it giggle uncontrollably. "Seriously you need to socialize more, sometimes I wonder if your going to live your life under a rock or something Kokomon."

"I-I'm Lopmon now..."

"...huh?"

"I-I digivolved from Kokomon, I-I'm now called Lopmon." I felt a migraine coming on. "Please don't tell me that every time you change, you'll have a different name?" I asked it as it scratched it's somewhat chubby cheeks. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault that your race decided to change their species name every time they grow bigger and fluffier." It nodded as I walked over to Anya and the now hacking Lena. "You alright?"

Muttering something in Russian, the irritated Russian instantly scowled at my direction. "I almost drowned, how do you think I feel?"

"Like crap?" She simply spat at my foot.

"Cute."

"How is that cute?" Coronamon asked as I rolled my eyes. "I was being sarcastic."

It's eyes widened. "Is sarcasm something that you humans enjoy?"

"God, why did you stuck me with a prissy Russian, a passive Icelandic, a cuddly chocolate bunny and a moronic lion."

"What's moronic?"

"It means: shut up." It simply blinked. "That doesn't make sense, a 'shut up' lion? I mean, I always talk."

I looked at it, and back at the others, and back at Coronamon. "God, please get me away from this moron."

"But I thought you said that you were stuck with a prissy Russian, passive Icelandic, cuddly chocolate bunny and 'shut up' lion?"

Have you ever had that moment where you just felt that the world is just closing in on you, because of all the crazy shits that's going on around you, and that you wanted to scream into the heavens in frustration?

"AAAAAAAAH!"

...yeah that's what's going on right now with me.

"For the love of god," A well sophisticated Englishman voiced out as Kudomon crawled out of Anya's shirt, watching me as I continuously smash my head onto a palm tree. "What on earth is that man screaming about?"

Anya shrugged.

"It's just Josh. If we ignore him, he'll probably go away."

* * *

**INTRO!  
(Because every awesome anime needs one)**

**Butterfly - Animetal**

_**Epic Guitar Shredding! Meanwhile in the Background the drums were accompanying the guitar and bass**_

_(The seven main OC's were facing behind the screen as shadows of various of large Digimons loomed in front of them)  
_

_****__Then...THE CHORUS THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE!_  
(The seven slowly turned, revealing them holding a rather large egg in their hands  
They hatch into infant like creatures that soon metamorphasize into their In-Training  
The low level digimon leaps out of their hands and change to rookies  
Light covered the screen as the title DIGIMON ADVENTURES? appears in the center  
The background changes instantly to a ocean with a very bright blueish color)

**_I'll be a cheerful butterfly,  
That rides on the glittering winds,  
And come,  
See you right noooooOOOW!  
-Mini Epic Guitar Rift- _**

_(The screen lifts up towards the sky, showing a rather peaceful sky  
It quickly descends to a playground field where it showed Kat juggling a soccer ball with her foot  
She kicks it high in the air and bicycle kicks it into a goal  
Kat rushes towards the goal to retrieve her ball, passing by two shady looking character  
-*- Shades of other characters enter through the screen in a picturesque form with intensive shading  
1. Lena appears to be hacking into three different computers. Her color is blue  
2. Josh is lifting up a wok from a flaming stove, ingredients flying in the air, while he was in the usual kitchen garb. His color is gray  
3. Ryder is tanning in a beach, with shades on and in a two piece. Her color is pink  
4. Yui is modeling for a photo shoot, in what appears to be in a male's hostess outfit. Her color is green)_

**_It's best to forget,  
The unnecessary things,There's no time,  
To be fooling aroooooOOOund!  
-Another Mini Epic Guitar Rift-_**

_(Yui's color fills in the blue as she steps off the photo shoot while she picks up a tray filled with pastries  
It changed into a restaurant cafe as she serves the pastries to a group of female customers  
She walks back and talks off her apron, picks up her bag and leaves for the door  
While passing by, two more shady looking characters were sipping a tea or eating their cake, while staring at her intensely  
-*- Once more shades of other character enter through the screen in a picturesque form with intensive shading  
1. Kyler was grafting on a concrete wall, his mouth covered in a dark bandana. His color was purple  
2. Anya is playing a guitar, while writing a music score. She also has a large set of headphones on her ears, which was hooked up to a Mac Laptop. Her color is yellow  
3. Kat is doodging male soccer players, using her footwork to keep the ball away from them. Her color is orange  
4. Four strangers are sitting in a dark room, on top of boxes, each of their faces are shrouded in the shadows. Their color are red)_

_**I wonder,**  
**Woah woah woah woah woah,**  
**What can I do, **  
**To reach these skies?**_

(The tamagotchi devices began to shine  
Each one of the OC, and insert, stopped what they were doing and pulled out their tamagotchi toy  
The screen on the devices began to glow brighter and brighter  
It consumes them covering the screen in white)

**_But,  
Woah woah woah woah woah,  
I don't even know,  
My plans for tomorrow!  
-*- A Longer, Yet Somewhat Short, Epic Guitar Rift! _**

_(The white fades away into a old picture like scene, the location is in a jungle  
The rookie digimons were running through the jungle  
They reached to a cliff and jumped off  
Each of their bodies began to shine brighter and brighter  
-*-Their bodies slowly grew larger and larger...)_

**_In this world of nothingness,  
That arises out of an infinite dream,  
It seems as though our beloved,  
Desires will be lost _**

_(Kat posed {pointing at Shellmon} while GeoGreymon roared as it charged full speed, knocking down Shellmon  
Veedramon was wrestling with Ogermon as Kyler guided the other smaller Digimon to safety  
Anya was riding on Reppamon. Somersaulting in the air, the digimon fired a sharp, bladed, wind towards Unimon which hit dead on  
Josh was sprinting side by side with Turuiemon as the two performed various of acrobatics, confusing Merrimon to no end on where they would strike) _

**_But even with these unreliable wings,  
Covered in images that tends to stay  
I'm sure that we can fly,  
OOOOOOOooon MYYYyyyyy LOOOOOOOOOoove! _**

_(Lena was falling into the jaws of Seadramon when Firamon swooped in out of nowhere, rescuing here in a nic' of time  
Ryder was laughing joyously as Garurumon was sprinting through the a metallic factory, dodging various of missiles being launched by Andromon  
Yui looked on in a glare as Leskimon, twirling and swirling in the air, kicked down onto the forearm of Strikedramon  
The Digimon was forced to leap back next to the it's partner, as well as three others with digimons who was looking back down at Yui.  
Are they friends or foes?)_

_**Guitar rift!  
**(The scene shows the seven champion level digimon showcasing their attacks  
The scene abruptly changes to their In-Training from  
It quickly changes to their Rookie form  
Finally the scene ends with the seven characters standing side by side in various of poses)_

* * *

"So where the hell are most of the guys?" I asked. Lena looked over towards Anya who shrugged in response, not really knowing the answer herself. The Russian decided to answer the question, with an answer that I really wasn't hoping to listen to.

"Guess they got caught swept in the current-"

"Lena, seriously! No morbid ideas!" She rolled her eyes in response. "I'm just being pragmatic here-"

"Yeah, well pragmatism is being raped by this world in the ass, and the only thing that works here is insanity."

"W-What makes you say that?" Lopmon asked from my head as I looked up. "One, animals talk in this dimension. Two, giant ass bugs are trying to sexually assault us. Finally, I'm being less rude then my usual self, which probably explains why I've been getting recent PM's about my personality and how my hit box for this story is growing more less and less as days goes by, also I didn't get as much reviews as I did in chapter two."

Both girls and Digimon stared at me. Anya took this time to summarize everyone's thought with one word.

"...what?"

Suddenly I heard a gasp behind as we all turned around to see Ryder slowly dragging Gabumon out of the current. "Oh man, that was just crazy..."

"Damn dude," me and Anya walked over and helped her pull the rather large digimon out of the river, "You really need to lay off the meat."

I felt Lopmon lose it's balance on my head, and like I thought it would happen, the chocolate bunny tumble off of me and landed hard on Gabumon's large stomach. The wolf pelt wearing digimon's eyes widened significantly, in response to the sudden headbutt on the stomach the digimon spat out a geyser of cool water from it's mouth. To my surprise, the digimon was growing smaller and smaller until it looked like how it looked back at the cliffs.

"Whew, I thought I was going to drown there for a sec-"

"GABUMON! Ryder cried joyously as she hugged the living crap out of Gabumon. Tears of joy and relief flowing down from her eyes as Gabumon tried to pry her off of his body. "Ryder, I-I'm fine, don't worry about me-"

Suddenly she bonked him in the head. "No! No your not! Your definitely not fine damn it!"

"Yes I am-"

"No your not!"

"Ryder, I'm definitely fine-"

"If your fine, then why were you drowning-"

"That was then, and this is now, Ryder-"

"You just said you almost drowned!"

I watched the fight between the two as I looked over towards Anya and shook my head. "Why are they arguing?" She looked about as baffled as me, even though she had that cold exterior on I could tell by the way she rolled her eyes and slightly twitching her head to the sides.

"I believe they're arguing about the safety of Gabumon and how miss Ryder was really distress at the fact that Gabumon could have potentially died."

What a polite ferret.

I felt something tug my pants, looking down it was Lopmon who was shifting uncomfortably on the ground. "What's up?" I asked as the mini-bunny looked at my head- oh...

"Want to get back on my head?"

"I-If you d-don't mind, t-then please...?"

Well she did say please.

With a shrug I picked it up and placed Lopmon right on top of my skull. The chocolate-bunny slowly slid down to my shoulders and gently grab hold of my hair. "I-I don't want t-to be a burden for y-you..."

"Dude, it's fine, you can stay on my head if you want. I mean, you did say please." The digimon mumbled something, which I could barely word out as "...irl."

"What's up?"

The digimon spoke a tad bit louder, but it was still the same as usual.

"I-I'm...a girl."

...oh...

...Oh...

"Um...sorry Lopmon. I just casually throw out dude, so don't take offense when I call you dude." The digimon nodded her head as Coronamon walked over to Lena who was...

...playing her DS...

"Lena you god damn game addict."

-o0O0o-

"Ok," I started off, "Now that the whole introduction is out of the way, let's find a way to get our underage asses back to Harrah's."

"We wait." Anya immediately said, "Supervisors will look for us."

"Yeah, but how long will that take?" The Russian muttered as I looked at the chibi- oh wait, Kat is the chibi. Ok we'll call Lena chibi no.2.

"You got any better idea chibi no. 2?" She threw a glare as Ryder blinked. "Chibi no. 2? Whose..." suddenly her eyes widened as she started to laugh. Any shook her head while Shorty glared at me. I shrugged. "I can't call her chibi, Kat took that title-"

"Josh!" Lopmon cried.

Why did she cry? Well here's a two work summary: Sucker Punch.

I moaned, rolling on the ground, while clutching my stomach. "It's always the guts..."

"Grow up." Kat growled as she blew on her fist.

Where the hell did she pop out from?

"Just for your info, I also know boxing."

"That explains the sucker punch..."

"I can throw a haymaker the next time." I instantly shook my head. "N-No, sucker punches are fine."

"You say that as if your expecting another punch." Yui walked out as I looked at the four eared bunny and at the ridiculously large breasted individual, and groaned.

"With my dirty mouth? I might get it."

And most of the things I say comes out unintentionally.

"U-Um...Josh?" I looked up from the ground as Lopmon patted my head gently. "I-I want to s-say thank you..."

"For what? All I did was cry, moan, and bitch in the last chapter." Lopmon blinked, not sure what I was saying, but nevertheless shook her head. "I-It's not that, I-I mean, I-I don't think I-I would have b-been able to save y-you i-if I didn't Digivolve..."

"Wait..." I slowly got off the ground and sat, so Lopmon wouldn't strain it's neck trying to look up at me. "So...your can't evolve by yourself." She shyly nodded her head. I sighed. "Well, I guess I'm thanking god for two things then."

"T-Two?"

"One, you guys Digivolved at the right time; and two, those pincers didn't touch anywhere near my ass." The bunny digimon blinked, before stifling a giggle. "You know, you can laugh if you want. Your probably the only thing around here that I won't beat up." Lopmon shook her head. "N-No, t-that'd be rude."

"No, I'm giving you permission to laugh at my misery, so go ahead." Once again, she reverently shook her head.

"As much as I would like you two to converse," Anya pointed at the other two girls. "We really should find someplace warm to dry off."

"Wait, what about Kyler!"

"What about him?"

Yeah, I was that much of a douche-bag. I really didn't care about what happened to that Junior. He could drown in that river for all I care-

"Wow, I never knew you cared."

"I don't" Kyler simply shrugged as Veemon slumped on the tree.

"Guys...I'm hungry."

On cue, everyone's stomach rumbled. With all the excitement going on, I guess it's not surprising that everyone would feel famished. Especially when were trying to run away from a horny stag-beetle that wanted to kill, rape and eat us. Also, from all that super powered attack those Digimon pulled out of their asses, I wouldn't be shocked to find out that these guys were hungry in less than a minute after the fight.

"Do you know where we can get some food around here Gabumon?" Ryder asked as he shook his head. "We all lived up there, we never came down to the lower levels. So this is our first time here."

"So you guys are pretty much useless here." Lena summarized.

"Pretty much." Coronamon ignorantly replied with a smile as everyone's mood dropped to a how new low. "Man this sucks balls." I muttered, before noticing that Anya was staring at the river for quite some time now...

"What's up Anya?" She points at the rapid current. "River."

"Yeah I know it's a river, we almost died in the river remember?" She shook her head. "River. Means water."

"...your point?"

I think she went a little coo coo.

"Water means civilization."

...or it just might be me being a complete dumbass.

"Civilization means food."

"Yeah, fooooooood!" Agumon and Veemon howled as everyone else nodded their head in agreement. "Well let's get going!"

"Hold on!" I stopped them as they looked at me. "First off, how do we even know that there's going to be civilization if we walked where the current is. If there isn't any civilization, that means we exhausted our energy just to get there. Secondly, everyone here is hungry right?"

This they nodded to.

"Well what if another digimon like Kuwagamon attack? We can barely even protect ourselves, and our Digimon are pretty weak after that battle."

"Who made you leader?"

"Kyler, I swear to god, if you don't shut up in the next fifteen minutes I'm going to kill you in your sleep."

"Nevertheless, Josh listed down some good points." Kudomon announced as he slid out of Anya's shirt. The lucky bastard. "We're terribly famished and if we don't get our required sustenance then we cannot protect you as much as we wish we could."

"In short, we're fucked."

That killed everyone's mood as I scratched my head. "Look, I'm not trying to be a douche, but we really need to think about this pragmatically-"

"Ok, Mr. Leader, what the hell do you think we should do?"

"Hey! Don't be 'that guy' just because I was trying to stop ourselves from potentially going to our untimely deaths."

"SHUT UP!" Me and Kyler instantly did as Kat grumbled something under her breath. "Look, arguing about it isn't going to solve anything. If anything, we shouldn't even be fighting here! We need to calm down and think this through, because frankly I really don't want to hear anyone bicker like they're a bunch of five year olds."

We glared for a few seconds before I scoffed and walked back to Lopmon, who was looking at me wearily. "Don't worry, I'm just irritated cause I'm hungry." She had a look of doubt, but didn't question me about it as she flew on top of my head. I walked back to the group and glanced over at the five foot firecracker. "Well then Kat, what do you think we should do?"

That made her blink. "H-Huh?"

"You shut up both Joshua and Kyler." Lena explained. "Very hard to do."

"It's like trying to stop the middle east trying to destroy Israel." Anya further explained.

"U-Um...I don't think."

"All in the favor of voting Kat as leader say 'ai'!"

"Ai!" Thirteen voiced out, the only one that didn't was Kat herself who was baffled that we would put that much faith in her.

"So, unanimously, Kat is our leader." Ryder as well as a few other Digimon cheered as everyone else, including me, began to wait of her command. "Well?"

"U-Um..." She looked at us before pointing at a direction. "I say we should go to the ocean!"

"There's an ocean here?"

"Of course dumbass, it's an island remember?"

Kyler, go fuck yourself.

"Well, what the hell are we standing around here for? Let's go!" Kat waved and-

"Holy shit! For a second there, Kat's glove just vanished!"

"Animation from the nineties." Anya surmised, "You just gotta love them."

-o0O0o-

The fourteen of us, seven humans and seven digimons, began to trek up north. Surprisingly enough, the river was also going up this way so I might have been wrong about civilization not being here. Chances that there are is pretty high now. Usually beaches mean-

"Not to zone out my own narration, but I don't think anyone gives a flying fuck about how mundane society works."

Wow I'm even a jackass to myself.

"Damn straight."

"Josh?" I looked up, "Who are you t-talking to?"

"Myself."

No literrally, I am talking to myself. Hi me.

What's up?

So hows the life of being a narrator all the time?

It's...kinda lonely actually.

Really?

"Josh? Sorry t-to interrupt you, b-but your kinda scaring me."

Oh, gotta go, need to make sure Lopmon doesn't cry.

Since when the hell did you care about anyone?

"So..." I tried to start up a conversation with Anya as she looked around the place. "Have you ever seen trees like these before? At first I thought we were in the sub-tropical area but some of the trees here are kind of making me doubt that assumption, maybe we might be in the US."

"Josh." Anya interrupts me. "Existance of Digimon, highly improbable that they exist in US."

"...Japan?"

"Too tropical."

"Russia?"

"If they were still the Soviet."

"Africa?"

"Impossible."

"I'm not getting anywhere with this am I?"

"No."

Blunt as ever. I sighed as I looked at Lopmon who was still on top of my head. "So Lopmon, you can fly now huh?"

"T-t-technically it's gliding, b-but yes I-I can f-fly." To show, the big-eared digimon spread her ear wide open as she gently lifted herself off of my head and slowly glided in the air. "Woah."

...she was slowly descending, behind.

"...I think you should wait until there's wind." I stopped and turned around to pick up Lopmon. The digimon gratefully thanked me as she lurched herself into my arms. "Tired huh?"

"A bit..."

"No worries then," I told her as I walked back to the group-

"We're getting close! I can smell the ocean!"

We all stared at Gabumon. "How do you smell the ocean?" Well, in the end, I really don't care. The fourteen of us quickly rushed behind Gabumon as he led us to a...woah, now that's one mighty fine looking ocean. When we got to the end of the river, the clear water was soon mixing into the salty one, giving off a clear green and blue color. It was a spectacular sight to see, and I would have thought it would be one of the best oceans I've seen, if I haven't visited to Australia. Those Aussies are damn lucky that they get to go and surf in that clear ocean...then again the Hawaiians also have-

"Shut up me, I hear something."

Hear something? Yeah right, you can't hear shit.

"Why do you say that?"

Because I'm the narrator, bitch!

"Josh! Shut up!" Most of the group exclaimed as I groaned. Sometimes it sucks to hear voices in my head. Especially when they're loud and obnoxious-

"Can't you hear that?" I closed my eyes and listened in...

"Is...is that a cellphone ringing?"

Cellphone means reception. Reception means people. People means-

"FOOOOD!" Not wanting to waste anymore time, I quickly abandoned the group and rushed over to the sound. Finally something to eat! Not only that, but there's a good chance that I can ask some people if I could borrow their clothes and - I don't see anyone...

"Where the hell is everyone?" I wanted to pull my hair, for the love of christ how long is god going to make me suffer and-

"Josh," Lopmon cut me off as she points over to the left. "What are those?" Following her point of view I glanced over...

...

...

...

"Is that my backpack?"

* * *

**Author's Note**

Alright! I am no longer accepting OC's!

**Audiences**: AW!

However I still need some favors from the seven of you that sent me the OC's for this arc! As you all read in the end, I found my backpack filled with my stuff. Why is this important? It's because I need it for my plot. So to be fair for everyone, I need you guys to send me a PM or review of what you want in your backpack! This must be done correctly because once we get pass this next chapter there's no turning back! So choose wisely!

Oh and don't you worry for the People that still want to send in the OC's. You'll get your next shot in the next season.


	5. Oh God, Someone Shut This Fucker Up!

**Yui**: The following is a fan-based story.

*Pulls out a paper and shows the audience the ridiculous amount of name on the paper*

All the things that are listed here are all owned by Bandai, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, FOX Kids, Kid Station, and Akiyoshi Hongo.

Please support the official release...and please come and see me in That Anon Guy fanfic, "Digimon Digital Monster Invasion". It's way better than this guy's fanfic that rarely gets updated-

**Joshua:** Hey! I HAVE A LIFE!

**Yui**: If that's the case, then what the hell are you doing here?

**Joshua:** I'm here because I'm bored and...wait...ARE YOU ADVERTISING YOUR OWN FANFIC ON MINE? YOU COPY RIGHT INFRINGEMENT SLU-

* * *

**Survival Tip #2  
Be sure to bring a whole lot stuff on your adventures!  
That includes a watch, telescope, map, compass, flashlight, food and water!  
(...actually, you know what? Screw all that, just have a shit load of food)**

* * *

I can't... believe it...

...oh fuck, four words into the story and I'm already making Naruto references. Stupid Cartoon Network and their censorship. They should have just fucking kept the dattebayo and gave Naruto a less of an obnoxious voice to work with- and why the hell do I know all of this crap?

"Josh?" Lopmon leaned over my head as she looked at the bags. "W-Why are all these here?"

"Honestly bunny? I really don't know and I really don't give a damn. The most important thing is that our bags are here..." I pulled Lopmon off of my head as a smile slowly punched its way to my face.

"...and we're all going to live cause of it!"

"R-Really?"

"Nope." She drooped her head in depression as I looked at the bags, "I see Chibi no. 2 bag over there, and knowing her I bet she has games in it!" I muttered as I walked over to the source of the cellphone. It came from...Yui's bag? I picked it out from her side pocket and lo-behold! It's an IPhone!

"Bitch never told me she's rich." I looked at the info in front of me, wanting to know who it was that was calling her. To my surprise it wasn't a contact...but a message...a picture message.

"Huh...I wonder what this could be."

~o0O0o~

"Where the hell did Josh run off to!" Katt exclaimed as she tugged her hair. "He votes me as leader then ditches us! What the hell!"

"Well, he couldn't have gotten far." Anya commented off-handedly as Ryder anxiously looked around the trees that surrounded them. "Now to find out which way he could have gone-"

"OH GOD MAH EYES!"

"...or we could follow the screams of his agony?" Yui voiced in as the girls, plus one guy, and a shit load of digimons, rushed to the source of the noise. When the group found the source, they blinked as they saw Josh writhing his body in a very angular way, while Lopmon tried to slap some sense into him. There weren't any evidence of what was happening...except for a phone that was next to him.

"Is that mine?" Yui muttered as she and Lunamon walked over to the phone and opened it up. Her eyes widened, before she sneered at the phone and laughed. "That's the seventh time that it happened with any guys."

"W-What happened?" Lopmon asked as Yui showed them the picture-

"OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DOING ON YOUR PHONE!" Soon Kyler joined in the waltz of twitching as the picture revealed a very fat man, naked, taking a very erotic picture of himself in front of the mirror.

"Sexting, man's bane of life." Anya surmised as Josh and Kyler began to cry.

"Think of happy thoughts, think of happy thoughts..."

"MOMMY!"

...no, I'm not the one that just yelled out mommy.

* * *

**HIT THE INTRO!**

* * *

"Ok," Kat rubbed her nose as she looked at me and Kyler, "Now that at least one of the two mentally ill patient are finally back with us, we can somewhat figure out what's going on."

Kyler finally recovered his shock from looking at the- no! I mustn't think about it! If I do, then I'll continue to be in that pathetic state...which I am right now...

"First thing is, why is our bags here?"

"Apart from the sexting," The two male in our group, me and Kyler, shuddered at the sound of **that** particular word. "It looks like we can't get any reception around here, I tried to call my family but all I got was just statics." Kat showed us her phone, a Droid.

"Well, at least we won't have to worry about clothes for a while now." Ryder pitched in as I rolled back and forth, in a fetal position.

"If your happy and you know it clap your hands..."

Clap. Clap.

"If your happy and you know it clap your hands..."

Clap. Clap.

"Josh, get over it, you just saw a fat man's penis." Lena told me, but I blocked out everything around me, even Lopmon, as I selfishly went into my happy world. Where it was filled with Hookahs, Bongs, and weeds. Also there were shit load of Munchies and bitches that were ready to-

"JOSH!" I snapped out of my muse as I saw flustered girls in front of me. "We didn't need to hear what you were thinking!"

...oh fuck did I just think that out loud?

"Yeah you did, you sick fucker."

Kyler, go fuck yourself.

"Um...Josh?" I looked down to see Lopmon who was covering her large ears with her tiny paws. "C-Could you p-please not say those words in front of me?"

"...well...I guess, I mean you did say please..."

RIIING!  
RIIING!

"OK, whose phone is ringing?" We all pulled out our smartphones, each of which were vastly different from the person next to them, but to our surprise, none of them were ringing. Meaning...

I got back up and ran to the source, ignoring Kat's demand to stop as I reached to the ringing noise and-

...and just what the fuck are phone booths doing here in the beach? Well considering how we're surrounded by talking creatures, trees that we can go into, giant ass beetles that were trying to anally rape me, rivers that somehow can't wet our clothes, and items that magically appear on beaches? I guess this isn't really all to far fetched.

"In any case, with these convenient phone booths here on the beach I can call for help!" Hearing the others follow behind me I quickly ran inside one of them and picked up the phone, luckily I had some quarters in my pockets so I shot one into the slot and dialed in my home number.

It's ringing...

It's trying to connect...

...and...

Click!

I got someone!

"Mom? Dad? It's me Josh!"

...but to my surprise, the voice that rang behind the phone wasn't my parents...

**_"Hiya mate, it's me Jeice. Sorry I can't come to the phone, I'm probably back at Space Aus, or at Spacey's. Leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can."_**

_..._what the hell is an Australian dude leaving a house message on my home phone?

I looked up out of my phone booth to see others calling in their phone booths, each with varying reactions.

~o0O0o~

((With Kat))

"I can't believe I'm calling his number..."

Click!

"Brother-"

**_Alright yo, check it out, it's Jaden from GX,  
And sad to say, dawg, you're my new test subject,  
So listen up, here it is, the awesome challenge I suggest,  
Who ever spits the best rap outta' you and me will be the best-_**

I quickly hung up the phone, after a few seconds something just hit me...

...Did he say Jaden Yuki?

~o0O0o~

((With Lena))

"Алло? Мать? Отец? Вы не трогайте мое игры назад в моей комнате, не так ли?" I spoke in Russian as I fruitlessly tried to contact with my family members and try to know the fate of the arcade back at my hometown, so when I get back home I have something to do...but the response I got was not exactly the one that I really wanted...

"**_Que? Que? Arcade? Cabron tu tienes un nintendo en la casa! You have a Nintendo at home!"_ **

~o0O0o~

((With Kyler))

Unlike the others, my phone was already ringing. Although I was a bit hesitant I remembered that this is a pay phone, and chances are the guy can't really call me back on this phone anyways...so I picked up the phone and answered.

"Hello?"

_**"Why don't you want to talk to me?"** I_ blinked at the response. The voice sounds very unfamiliar, but he doesn't sound old or anything of the sorts...

"Who is this?" the voice chortled, **"_If you tell me your name, I'll tell you mine." _**

My answer came out with a short scoffed. "I don't think so."

**"..._do you like scary movies?_"**

This went on and on...

...well at least he's more of a nice guy than Josh. Although I did feel a bit creeped out when he asked for my name only to respond back by saying that he wanted to know the person that he was looking at while talking to.

The only guys here on this island were Josh and me, and I really doubt that Josh would seriously do something like that...

~o0O0o~

((With Anya))

"Hello?"

_**"...ven...ays..."  
**_  
What?

"Billy Mays? The OxiClean guy?"

_**"...even...-ays..."**_

Huh?

"Who's gay, Billy Mays? Hello?"

**"...ear..._now_?"**

"What?"

_**"Can- ou. Hear -e.**** Now?"**_

"A little..."

_**"Can you hear me now?"**_

"Yes, perfect." I sighed out in relief, finally I can understand what he's saying.

_**"Seven**_**_ days..._"** The voice rang out ominously as I stared at the green pay phone. Seven days? Seven days of what? To eat? To sleep...or...could it be...

"Seven days till we finally leave this island?"

_**"Island? What island? No I mean seven days until you die."**_

"Die?"

_**"You watched the tape didn't you?"**_

"What tape? I'm on an island."

Silence...

"_**Is this Cindy** **Campbell**?_"

The voice was unsure, as I realized that this was not the number that the person wanted. That made me somewhat somber.

"Um...no, this is Anya Blaze."

**_"Oh shit...um...sorry, wrong number then."_**

~o0O0o~

((With Ryder))

**"_...I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If your looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money...but what I do have, are a very particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired from a very long career. Skills that makes me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you...but if you don't, I will look for you. I will find you..._**

**_...and I will kill you."_**

I, horrified at what I just heard, slowly took the green pay phone away from my ear and hung it up. With a shudder, I slumped on the wall and sobbed out my first three words after that message.

"...Wha...What the fu..."

~o0O0o~

((Finally...with Yui))

"Hopefully I actually get someone that's able to rescue us..."

_**"Otacon? Is that you? It's me Snake, I hope I didn't get the wrong Codec number again, cause that would**_**_ suck_."**

Another one bites the dust.

~o0O0o~

(Back to my POV!)

"Well looks like the phone booth are no use to us I guess..." Kat murmured as I laid back onto the sands. Tired already at what had transpired this noon, I ignored what was going on around me-

STOMACH GROWLING!

Everyone looked over towards my direction as I sat right back up. "Ok, I really don't care about any god damn plot devices that we need to discuss, right now I need food cause I'm really hungry." I told them as everyone else's stomach growled afterwards.

"Man...what I would give for a chili dog." Kyler moaned.

"Fried rice." Ryder sang.

"Chili dog, and fried rice!" Kat and the Digimon bellied out a sorrowful cry as I thought about the food.

"Lobster Mac N' Cheese." My mouth began to water watered.

"Ok guys hold up!" Everyone stopped listing their dream food list as I glared at each and every one of them, "I seriously hope we're not going to spend this whole chapter listing off food, I mean this isn't JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit you know?"

Right when I said food a louder rumble echoed on the beach as we all sighed.

"Damn it! This is a freaking fan fiction, why can't the narrator just say that we already ate and just get it over with?"

**Possibly because I need to put some realism into this fan fiction and because of that I have to wear you all down with fatigue.**

"Well you got any bright ideas on how to attack this hunger then!"

**Have you tried working the shaft?**

"Classy..."

**I know, but seriously though have you checked your bags?**

"...it's official, I'm a retard."

**I think we established that in the last two chapters or so when you decide to make yourself a character that knows no fourth wall.**

"Guys!" I announced as I point at our bags. "Why don't we stop being a bunch of idiots and check out if we have food in our bags!" They blinked, before the group collectively smack themselves in the head for being dumb.

We each searched through our bag in search of rations that we could eat. I quickly opened my dark colored zip up bag and checked out if there was anything there...

...out of all the things that had to be here...

"Josh?" I looked at Lopmon who was about to touch one of my stuff, only to be slapped away by yours truly. She was rubbing her hand, tears threatening to come out. "Lopmon, I didn't mean to do that...well actually I did, but it's for good reason!"

"What is it?"

What is it? Lopmon, you don't need to know what these are, because if you do then it'll forever break your innocent mind.

"So Josh," Kat called out as I looked over towards her. "What do you have?"

"NOTHING!" I screamed out as I immediately zipped up my bag, not wanting anyone else to see what was in there, after all...it is my **special** survival kit that I need to hold onto.

...in case of emergency of course.

"It sounds like you have something in there." Everyone stared as I glared back. "Well, I don't!"

"Great, looks like we got nothing to eat..." I moaned...before I blinked, "Say..." I looked at the collective ground around. "What does everyone have?"

"Well..." Yui was the first to show, "All I have are some sweets and a work uniform..." She said as everyone's ears perked up on sweets. "None of you guys can have any, I'm going to have it with myself and my digimon." We groaned.

"What about you Kyler?" Kat asked as the other male of the harem group, I mean...girl group, picked up his bag and looked through his content. "Well...all I got is my iPod, Blackberry, camera, chocolate, gum packages, and..." he shuffled through, "...a PSP."

"Your hiding something."

"And your not telling us what you have in your bag."

"Touche."

"In any case," Kat cut us off before it got nasty. "We're probably not going to have anything useful for us to use through this journey."

"Think again," Everyone looked over to my direction as I point at Anya, "If anyone is prepare for anything it's Anya." She blinked.

"Excuse me?" her Icelandic accent heavily echoed through her statement as I point at her bag, "Your the one that's always bringing extra things for the journey just for the hell of it." She rolled her eyes as the Iceland transfer student pulled her bag and literally showed us what she had...and damn, I wonder how she always fit those things in there.

"A gallon of water, a set of clothes, a sleeping bag, 3 box of matches, 1 lighter," My ears instantly perked up at the word lighter, "A pair of sunglasses, a nylon rope, a pair of flip-flops and shoes, and...dear lord," Kat's eyes instantly widened, "J-Just how the hell did you fit in a guitar, fishing rod and a net in there!"

"See what I mean?" I muttered as I walked over and picked up the Lighter, "I'm going to take this, just encase." She looked at me as I pocketed the green lighter into my pants.

"She also have bags of jerky in there!" Kat exclaimed as the Icelandic student blinked before pulling out, to our immense joy, beef jerky.

...oh god they're teriyaki flavored, my favorites!

"Gimme!" Kat instantly pushed them away from everyone else. "No! We can't waste any food, who knows how long were going to be here!"

"We still need to know what else everyone has in their bag," I pitched in as I looked over at our leader, "What say you, oh great leader?" she blushed at the word leader but nevertheless pulled out her bag. "Well lets see here..."

Why am I not surprised when the first thing she pulls out are a pair of boxing gloves and workout clothes? She also pulled out sunglasses, music player and...huh...I never knew that she draws.

"I have a whole box of water, and granola bars!"

Oh thank god! We should be able to survive for at least a week now!

"You have granola bars too? Yay! We're like sisters now!" We looked over at Ryder who began to pull out her things from her bags. Our eyes widened at the box of protein bars and pretzels.

"Oh my god..."

Forget a week, we can survive for a month now.

Ryder also pulled out two bottles, water and gatorade, a first aid kit, lip balm, climbing gears, a bottle of tanning lotion and...aw, a cute little pink blanket. She must have noticed my little smirk as the outdoor girl blushed heavily. "S-So what? I need my pink blankie to sleep!"

"Riiiight."

"Josh, shut up." Lena ordered in her heavy Russian accent as she began to pull out her stuff from-

"Wait!" Everyone stopped, I immediately closed my eyes and dramatically pulled my hands upward. "The gods are telling me...that Lena has a DS, a folder with DS games and a Sony VIAO Laptop."

I gave her a condescending smirk as the chibi Russian glared, "Bastard."

"I love you to."

"In any case, Josh your the only one that hasn't told us what you brought..."

...oh crap.

"Um...you guys don't really need to know, it's nothing important."

"Josh! We showed everyone what we have, now it's your turn!"

"I rather not."

"He has these bags filled with balls of weird grass things and some glass thingy." Lopmon said as I glared at the small bunny. Everyone blinked...before Kat looked at me with aghast. "Y-You have weed!"

"No!"

"Well from the glass thingy, it sounds like you have a bong." Kyler said as I groaned. "Ok! I smoke weed! Who the fuck doesn't!" everyone, excluding me, rose their hand.

"...seriously?"

"Seriously." everyone supplied as I scratched my head.

"Well...now we know that we're not going to eat anything around Josh." Yui supplied as I glared at her.

"Oh? And why's that!"

"Munchies."

"...fuck you guys."

~o0O0o~

We, as well as the Digimon, pilled around the food as I began to write down numbers, "Ok, so let's figure this out, theres seven of us and we can have three meals per day, times that by three would be-"

"Sixty-three meals."

"...right thanks Lena. So in short we would have-"

"About three meals."

"...Lena, shut up when I'm talking."

"You guys," Kat stopped me as I looked at leader, "We need to include the digimons, which would mean that this ration of food will probably last for about at least an half an hour."

Oh fuck...I totally forgot about that.

"Not a problem at all," Kudamon assured us as the ferret crawled out of Anya's shirt, "We Digimon can hunt and forage for ourselves"

...really?

"Yup, so there's no need for you guys to include us in your calculations." Veemon pitched in as I looked over a Lopmon. "You sure it'll be ok?"

"Oh absolutely," Lopmon replied with a smile. "We can do alright for ourselves." With that we sealed the deal as I smirked at the rations in front of us, "Alright, now that we settled with everything on the food let's start dividing up the food with the people that are...wait...why is one of the beef jerky bag missing?" I heard a slight munching noise and turned around to see Kat feeding Agumon a beef jerky.

"Oh man, this is great! I can eat a dozen of these!" The happy latina leader announced as a vein slowly protrude out of my forehead. "Just what the hell do you think your doing!"

Kat slowly turned to me and did one of the most un-Kat thing I have heard her do since the first time we met.

"Josh? Why do you live?"

"Abu...Huh?"

"Yeah I thought so."

Grrrrrr...

"...Josh, was that your stomach?"

"Um...no?"

GRRRrrrr...

"...is it someones phone ringing?"

"Josh, seriously, can you say something that isn't stupid?"

GEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRrrrr...

"Oh great, now it includes the 'E' to the whole 'Grrr'."

"How do you know it's an 'E' and not something else- HOLY CRAP!"

Suddenly a geyser shot out of the sands as it rapidly blazed through the telephone booths, "RUN!" I heard Kat exclaimed as we picked up our digimon and literally book it, I screamed as numbers of the telephone booths slammed right behind me. "Fuck! Why the hell is it going after me!"

"What the hell is that thing?"

Right when Ryder demanded for an answer a whirlwind of sand burst upward as a giant shell emerged from the beach.

"Oh no!" one of the digimon announced, which one? Hell I know, I'm too busy trying to see if any glasses cut through me or Lopmon's head. "It's Shellmon!"

"What the hell is a Shellmon!"

"Something that always on a period!" Agumon announced...

...

...

"Pfft..."

"ITS NOT FUNNY JOSH!" Everyone screamed.

And there it was, from the opening of the shell, two large pink arms came out and pulled out the rest of the creature which had several green tendrils producing from its head.

Everyone stared at the digimon...

Yui cleared her throat

"...that is one..."

"...ugly..." Kyler continued.

"...mother..." Anya said this part.

"...fucker..." no one really needs to know who said this part.

The said, ugly, mother fucker roared. Well, now that we established that this guy is ugly as fuck...

NARRATOR! GIVE US STAT SCREEN!

**Shellmon  
****Champion  
****The "RAWR, AH'M SHELLMAUN!" Digimon  
****Power Level: AH'M SHELLMAWN!  
****Attack: SHELLMAUN CUANNON!**

...Right, is there anything else that's on that god damn stat screen that's actually helpful?

"In any case! We need to get to higher ground, judging from the webbing on the hands it'll be impossible for that digimon of that size to even climb up something like a wall-"

"NEEEEEERD!" I can't help but to troll as Ryder began to climb up the rocky wall with ease- wait...why the hell is that pink bastard lowering it's head?

**"YAU CAN'T RUNAWAY FRAUM MAH, AH'M SHELLMAUN!"**

Oh god, you mean to tell me it actually talks like that-

"HELP!" Ryder exclaimed as the digimon shot a terrifyingly powerful jet of water from...it's...

"Ok, how the fuck did it shot water from it's skull-"

"JOSH! CATCH HER!" Kat screamed into my ears as I saw the falling girl tumbling to the ground...oh...

...Oh right.

"CATCHING!" I cradled the Texas wonder girl in my arms as I covered her form the impact.

"Digimons Attack!" Agumon ordered as the six others joined him to fight the large ass digimon. "**Pepper** **Breath!**" The smaller dinosaur monster launched out a small, but a very fiery, fireball right onto Shellmon's sternum. Feeling the burn, the Digimon roared in pain, "**AUGH! IT BAURNS! IT BAURNS BECAUSE AH'M SHELLMAUN!**"

Not wasting the opportunity to attack, Kudomon pointed it's tail at the eyes of the digimon and aimed, it's small cartilage slightly glowing "**Dangan Sempū!**" The fired...only for the bullets to fizzle out the moment it left the opening of the cartilage.

"Let me try!" Gabumon rushed in as it opened it's jaw for it's signature attack, "**Blue Blaster!**" The digimon fired it's blue flame...only for it to quickly die out the second it hit the air.

"What the..." I muttered in shock as the other digimons tried to fire their attack. "**Blazing Ice!**" Lopmon opened up her mouth as blueish flames began to emerge from the mouth only to be extinguished. "Oh no!" she cried out as Coronamon leaped right in front of Shellmon's face. "**Coro-Knuckles!**" The digimon punched...the only difference with the Coro-knuckle that I saw back when he used it on Kawagamon and now was that this one didn't have flames, and he was punching the digimon slower than usual.

"W-What's happening to them?" I demanded as Lena looked at her's with wide eyes. "They look...like they lost their powers..."

"**BITCH AH'M SHELLMAUN**!" The digimon smacked the small lion to the ground as it lowered it's head.

"Oh dear...this is not going to be pretty..." Kudomon instantly curled himself.

"**SHELLMAUN CUANNON**!" The shellfish digimon fired another jet of water, this time onto the ground as it slowly raised it's head, creating a cutting motion. The heavy cannon hit Coronamon, Agumon and Kudomon as the three were launch into the air, only to be smacked down as Shellmon lowered it's head back down, smacking not only the three but Lopmon onto the ground, who in turn piled onto Gabumon.

"Lopmon!" I sprinted to the smaller digimon a cradled it in my arms. "What the hell is going on here?"

Lunamon touched her forehead, as she clenched her face (adorably might I add), as light slowly gathered onto the crescent moon on her head. The energy slowly turned into a tiny, luminescent, water ball. "**Tear-Shot!**" The Digimon fired, only for the water to fall onto the ground with a splat. Shellmon smacked the piss out of the smaller digimon with it's paws.

Veemon sprinted towards the sternum. With a grunt it leaped, "**Vee Headbutt**!" The digimon struck...

...it sure did a headbutt, but it wasn't as strong as it was back at the cliffs...

"OWIE!"

...and he hurt himself in the end more than Shellmon.

"**BITCH YAU DAUN'T TAUCH MAH! AH'M SHELLMAUN!**" Veemon got bitch-slapped by Shellmaun- oh fucking damn it, now I'm pronouncing his name wrong.

"Instant recovery!" Agumon announced as it rushed back to the battle field, "**Pepper Breath!**" It launched another flaming fireball, this time it shot right into it's mouth. "**RAWR! IN MAH MAUTH! SH!T AH'M SHELLMAUN**!"

"Go get him Agumon!" Kat cheered as Lena looked at the situation. "Why is it only Agumon that can fight?"

"W-Were just too hungry." Coronamon explained as Gabumon weakly looked up at Ryder, "Gabumon!" The Texan voiced out with worry as her parter stared into her eyes. "We need food...to fight..."

Oh you have got to be fucking shitting me. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL US THIS SOONER!"

"Well it's a good thing that my Digimon had something to eat! Looks like its up to us Agumon!" The dinosaur hit the shellfish with another pepper breath before turning to Kat to respond, "Then give me some distraction!" The girl smirked as she quickly rushed over to the pink Digimon, "Hey ugly! Over here!" She exclaimed as she rushed off, in a hurry to get out of dodge.

"**YAU CALL MAH UGLY! AH'M SHELLMAUN**!" The digimon roared as it shot a tendril towards the soccer player only to get kicked...

...and the girl did it with a bicycle kick.

...9 out of 10.

"Nyeh Nyeh! Can't touch this!" She taunted, which infuriated the digimon more than usual...if that was even possible. The Digimon rose it's paw into the air, ready to smash the tiny mexican (I'M NOT TINY!) like a little ant-

"**Pepper Breath!**"

"**GAUD THAT HIT MAH IN THA AH **{eye}**! AH'M SHELLMAUN!**"

God, does this guy ever shut up?

**Didn't you read his stat screen?**

Your telling me that's relevant in this freaking fight!

**No, I'm just saying that his annoyance started even before he began to speak.**

...In any case...let's just get back to the story. From the corner of my eyes I watched as Kat picked up a debris from one of the broken telephone booths and tried stabbing the shell with it, "YOU DUMB PUNTA! YOUR SUPPOSE TO USE SOMETHING SHARP!" I screamed, however it was in vain as our brave leader was picked up off the ground with one of the tendrils from it's head.

"Kat are you alright!" Ryder asked, worried for her friend's safety.

"Note to self," Kat began, "Digimon vs Digimon: good. Girls vs Digimon: really bad!" She screamed out in pain as the tendrils began to squeeze her harder. "KAT!" We cried out as Kat's scream was getting louder, the slime slowly dripping through her clothes as other tendrils began to pull her limbs, slowly smaller tendrils came out and...

...good god, I read way too many Japanese smuts to know what the hell is going to happen next...

"Hold on, Kat!" Agumon yelled upon seeing his partner in danger. "**AH HELL NAUH, AH'M SHELLMAUN!**" Shellmon had other plans as he lifted his massive hand. Agumon sensing danger quickly ran, but wasn't fast enough as the Digimon was pinned to the ground.

...wait...why is he lowering his head towards us...

...oh...

"**YAU NEED A SHAUWA, CAUSE AH'M SHELLLMAUN!" **

...fuck...

We screamed as the digimon blasted us with a powerful geyser, slamming our bodies onto the stoney wall behind.

"NO!" Kat screamed, only to be silenced with a tendril being -no not shoved into her mouth, thankfully- but wrapped around it.

Damn it! If there's only a way to help her out! If only there was a way for her to get out of those tentacles- wait...what the hell is that noise?

WRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

It's...it's...

"KAT! YOUR TAMAGOTCHI IS RINGING!"

Indeed it was, as Agumon, that was pinned under Shellmon's paw began to...glow...

"Oh shit! Agumon is evolving!" I exclaimed as...hold on...I hear the Tamagotchi ringing...but...is that music playing in the background?

**Digimon Soundtrack - Brave Heart {Japanese Version}**)

Suddenly barcodes emerged from the Tamagotchi as it wrapped around Agumon, encasing him into a dome like egg structure. We were all taken aback as the light shined brighter and brighter...then we heard it...

Agumon's voice, though distorted, echoed.

"Agumon...digivolve to...**GEOGREYMON**!" A loud baritone voice roared out as the egg shattered, where Agumon's luminescent form began to shine brighter...and was growing at a rapid rate, it was so big that it launched Shellmon off of the digimon. Kat went flying as she tumbled onto the soft sands- is someone singing? Is someone singing...in Japanese?

_瞬間に、  
誰もがあきらめることができ  
と逃げるように回します。_

A loud tyrannosaurus-rex like roar rang through the beach, wanna know how it roared? Ever watched the Jurassic Park series? Remember that one scene where the T-Rex literally mauls that damn car and roars? Yeah...it was like that...

"Extreme! It's GOJIRA!"

Yes everyone, I said Godzilla. How can I not? GeoGreymon was a massive, tyrannosaur-like beast, and all twenty-five-feet of his height was stranding up right, making him fucking intimidating as hell. Well-built, powerful muscle lined every inch of his yellow body. The top half of the monster's head was covered with a brown helmet-like structure, covered with cracks that glowed like lava and with two horns stabbing out on either side and a smaller nose-spike.

_瞬間に、_  
_あなたは恐怖のようなものを示していない。_  
_ので、道を歩き続ける。_

The two were staring into each other, standing on opposite sides, as if it was a-

"**YEAH! IT'S A MAUTHAFUCK'N SAMURAI STANDAUFF IN THIS BITCH! AH'M SHELLMAUN-**"

"WE GET IT YOUR NAME IS SHELLMON!" We exclaimed as the said digimon charged, only to be stopped by GeoGreymon as the tyranno like digimon held it down in a sprawl. The shellfish digimon pushed and pushed it's way to us, but no matter how hard it tried, the digimon wasn't able to budge the giant muscle dinosaur as it continued to be pushed down into the ground.

_それは本当の知っている。_  
_、そこに何かあなたには、だとあなただけが行うことができます_  
_その他のものは、しようとしない勇気_  
_ように、この青い地球の光が死ぬことはありません。_

"**AUH NAUGH! AH'M SHELLMAUN**!" The digimon roared in frustration as it fired another pressurized water at GeoGreymon, the digimon leaned away from it, and although we heard Agumon talk, I think this is the first time GeoGreymon ever said something...

"**You can't do that shit to me**!"

Wow, his voice is freaking deep.

_移動して、あなたはすべての一番好きな夢をつかむ！_  
_あなたが毎日愛する友人を守るために行く！_  
_あなたが強くなり、真であるためにドライブがあると信じている！_

"**AUH! WHATEVER YAU DAU DAUN'T THRAUW MAH UP AHN THA AHR, AH HATE HAHGHTS CAUSE AH'M SHELLMAUN!"**

...that is just being begged to get thrown.

"**You mean,**" GeoGreymon picked the pink, annoying, bastard up with his large horn and with a grunt threw him up high into the air. "**Like this?**"

"**DAMN IT!**" the shellfish monster roared as it continue to fly ridiculously high into the air. The steroid dino lurched it's head back as fire began to slowly escape from it's giant maw.

_あなたの呼び出しを待っている新しいパワーがありません_  
_あなたの心は、あなたが方法を見つける場所です_

"**My mouth isn't moving**** but I'm talking anyways, cause I'm Geo-Fucking-Greymon!**" Kat's Champion level digimon exclaimed before firing a giant ball of fire from his mouth which exploded when it directly struck Shellmon right in the pectorals, causing him to fly out to the open sea.

_あなたは、火を灯したときに_  
_すべてあなたの欲求、_  
_点灯し叶うようになるだろう..._

"**AUGH NAU! THIS IS WAURSE THAN THE TIME AH BAUGHT FINAL FANTASY II AT GUAMESTAUP FAUR THIRTY-DAULLA WHEN I REALIZE THE GUAME I MUENT TO BUY WAS FINAL FANTASY IV!" **

...that...was one hell of a way to say your final words before you lose...

"**SHIT MAH NAMES SHELLMAUN!**"

Oh wait, there we go.

_Show me your braveheart!_

Not two seconds after Shellmon made the biggest splash that any of us, or digimon, had ever seen in our god damn lives GeoGreymon's body began to shine brightly as the steroid dino slowly shrank - huh? Wait...why did I hear the Mario sound effect? For those who aren't as fourth wall breaking adept as I am, it's the sound that you usually hear when Mario shrink. It's the noise when something hit's Mario and it- oh fuck it, just play the god damn game!

Kat quickly rushed over towards the tired digimon, reaching him as soon as GeoGreymon stopped glowing and revealed that he had turned back into Agumon.

"Well I guess they're not going to stay in their evolutions like a Pokemon." I muttered as Kat shook her digimon awake. "Are you ok, Agumon?" The mini-dino slowly opened up it's eyelids revealing his bright green eyes.

"Kat..." he moaned weakly, our leader wearily looked at the digimon, worried what was wrong with it. Finally the digimon spoke.

"...I'm hungry."

~o0O0o~

So everything was all good in the end, we kicked Shellmon's ass out of our beach and now we had the time to relax...that is until...

"NO! MY MUNCHIES!" I screamed in bloody terror as the digimons ate the food in my bag.

"Josh, why the hell didn't you tell us that you had food?"

"That's my munchies stash! That's for whenever I get high!" I fell onto the sands as I watched my dorritos being mauled by Agumon. "You bastards better share your food with me." I muttered darkly as the girls whistled innocently to themselves.

"So here's what we learned ever since we came here," Kat began as she looked around the collective group, "1. Jungle is bad, and 2. Ocean is bad."

"So what the hell does that leave us?" Kyler muttered as the digimons finished the Funyuns.

"Well I think-"

"Shut up," Lena interrupted me as she points at Kat, "She's leader, she decides."

"...can't I voice out my opinion?"

"No." Everyone yelled as I sorrowfully looked at the cheetos being torn apart.

"Josh?" I looked to my left to see Lopmon happily munching on a Crunch bar. "Thank you for feeding us! I promise I'll protect you better from now on!"

"..."

"...would you like to have some?" Lopmon broke a piece of the Crunch chocolate off of the chocolate bar and offered it to me. With a resigning sigh, I took the chocolate and popped it into my mouth. "Thanks Lopmon..."

There is no damn way I can continue to be mad after seeing something adorable as that...

* * *

**Author's Note**

It's an abrupt ending, but hey it's me.

So many of you guys are wondering, what the hell took you so long to update Josh? Well I got two words for you guys: AP Testing.

Now that it's finally over, it's time to kick back and enjoy the rest of the summer!

Anywhom, see you guys in chapter five- oh wait...this is chapter five...

Chapter 6 then!


	6. Remember Kids, Even Lopmon Can Be Badass

**Kyler**: The following is a fan-based story.

Digimon...fuck it, the whole freaking Digimon series are all owned by Bandai, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, FOX Kids, Kid Station, and Akiyoshi Hongo.

Please support the official release.

**Joshua: ...**that's it?

**Kyler:** You want me to say something else?

**Joshua:** No, I just thought that you might say something douchebaggy or something.

**Kyler:** First off you fucking retard, douchebaggy isn't even a word, and secondly no one gives a rats ass about the disclaimers.

**Joshua:** Kyler, go-

**Kyler: **-fuck yourself? Yeah you really need new materials.

* * *

**Survival Tip #3  
If your looking for a place to rest, and away from danger, you can always go to "The Usual Places"!**

**For example:**

**1. A Scary Looking Cave  
2. A Suspicious Looking Train Cart In The Middle of Nowhere  
3. Active Volcano**

**DO NOT**  
**Go into beautiful and safe looking houses!**  
**(They always lead into trouble...Amityville Horror, and any other horror movies, taught us that)**

* * *

After our lunch the seven of us decided to take a break. So here we were, dressed in our bathing suits/swim wear, as both human and digimon just relaxed for the day. From the corner of my eye I could see Kat and Ryder playing with a soccer ball as Agumon and Gabumon acted as goal keeper. So far from what I counted off, it was 20-18, Kat's favor.

Kyler wasn't doing much. From the broken phone booth that Shellmon left behind, he used that as his little shade for sleep. Both him and Veemon were snoozing away, obviously tired from the whole ordeal that just went down earlier. Not that I blame them, I mean Veemon did get his ass kicked out there badly.

Yui was sun-tanning outside with her bikini...or if if it can be called that. I can never tell with swim suits. She was chilling out there with Lunamon, who tried to copy Yu, but obviously was confused why Yui found this relaxing.

Anya? Well she was...huh, I can't seem to find her. Where did she go? Maybe doing something to train for swim or something. Either that or writing a new sets of lyrics for her song. I forgot to mention that. She loves to sing. Who the hell knew?

So what the hell was I doing?

"Ok Lopmon, this here is called a Vaporizer." I showed my little Digimon a little dark pen-structured like device, on the tip however was a lip that is used to smoke whatever content was holding it. "You take big hits with this and get ridiculously high."

"High?"

"It makes you feel really happy," I lifted a finger to pause. "But you got to be careful, or else you can trip pretty damn hard."

"How can you trip?" My smile couldn't have been more evil.

"Oh you'll find out lil' dude."

Of course, we hit our little joint where no one was looking. Lopmon looked terrified as she watched with wide eyes while I pressed on the button to activate the device and began to suck. Thirty seconds passed by as I took a long drag, before exhaling out the smoke. "Oh shit...I know I'm going to be feeling this."

"H-Have you done this before?"

"Hell no!" I snapped back, "My friend gave me this! He told me that it's better than smoking out a bong! Told me that in five minutes, everything will go slow!" She looked very reluctant to smoke it. In fact, Lopmon was already on her feet, backing away from me rather slowly.

"U-Um...I think I'm going to play with Lena and Coronamon. I think she's teaching him how to play that one game on that little thing she calls DS-"

"Share da love, sista!" I shoved the vaporizer into Lopmon's mouth. She instantly went pale. How pale? Ever seen a white chocolate? Or how about a white rabbit?

"...spiders..." She passed out on the floor. Man, I really need to talk to Grassy Jack.

Cause this shit is awesome!

* * *

**Hit the Intro dudes...**

* * *

"Lopmon..." I began as I watched the scene play in front of me. "I think I'm feeling it dude."

"I-I'm...I'm...I'm..." Lopmon couldn't even finish her sentence as the two of us watched two grey-colored Triceratops just duking it out with one another. Or that's what I think it is. I don't know, maybe it's because of the Vaporizer had 99% pure T8C in it or something, or maybe it's because we didn't eat anything before hand.

All I know right now, is that I'm tripping so much ball watching these two dinosaurs fight.

Watching those two dinosaurs fight with one another gave me a Einstein-like idea.

"Dude. Dude. Dude." I waved at Lopmon. "We need to build a freaking rocket. Fly over this damn island, into space, and crash back to Harrahs man." Lopmon simply nodded her head slowly. Yup, she's feeling it.

"But it can't be any ordinary rocket! Hell no!" I screamed as I point at the dinosaurs. "It has to be shaped like those dinosaur's dick! A big hairy dino dick!" Lopmon gasped, did she not like my idea?

"...i-it needs m-my ears as wings..."

I stared at Lopmon and imagined what she was implying.

"A hairy dinosaur dick with Lopmon ears as wings?" My grin was threatening to rip my face off. "That is brilliant! Lopmon, you are a god-damn genius!" Lopmon copied my earlier actions and paused me with a finger. I slowly quieted down as I waited for my wise partner in crime to express her opinion on our super-awesome plan to leave this island.

"...with lasers...we need...defense mechanism-"

"-to fight the aliens and Frieza! My god Lopmon, your a fucking genius! Forget UCLA! Lopmon, with you by my side, we can go to Harvard!" Suddenly the digimon erupted with laughter, as the chocolate bunny rolled on the ground holding her stomach. "I-I don't know why, b-but I have this urge to laugh!"

I joined in with the laughter, "I don't know what the hell you just said there, but it's sure as hell funny!"

Of course, our laughter brought attention to the two dinosaur Digimon as they growled dangerously, slowly trekking their way towards us. Their horns positioned to gore us any time. Lopmon and I looked at the Digimon and each other.

"...Josh..." Lopmon looked back at the two grey-colored Digimon. "...I see ghost bunnies..."

"You see bunnies?" I looked over at the two Digimon, and back at Lopmon. "That's strange. All I see is Keira Knightley and Olivia Wilde having hot lesbian sex with one another, licking whip-cream off of each other."

"What's a lesbian?"

"God if I know..." My face clenched with disgust as the dinosaur breathed right in front of our faces. "Dude..."

A pause.

"...you need mouthwash." The digimon rumbled ferociously, not enjoying the fact that I just insulted it. In fact, it looked down right murderous as it slowly lowered it's horn down to gore. My last few minutes to live before I get gored by a grey-digimon with attitude, and what did I do?

"...want some brownies?" I showed them the bag of dark delicious goodness in my hand, "I made them myself."

* * *

Everyone was packing their things, ready to find some people that were living on this island to help them get back home. Anya and Yui were changing back to their clothes while everyone else were planning out on what dinner would be.

"Well, Anya nearly searched the whole beach," Kat chewed on her jerky, "but it looks like theres nobody here except for us and Digimons with nasty attitudes." The Icelandic and the big-breasted Japanese waitress walked back to the group as Kyler and Veemon yawned loudly.

"Luckily for us, we have some major butt kicking digimons that are really strong!" their leader replied happily as she lifted Agumon's arm up in the air. "Like when Agumon digivolved into GeoGreymon, and dragon-punched Shellmon into outer space! He was so cool!"

"Ah shucks, Kat you make me blush." The digimon sheepishly replied, hiding his embarrassment with a laugh.

"Yo, Agumon." Kyler called out, "I think we all like you as GeoGreymon. No offense, but why don't you stay that way?" The mini T-Rex hummed.

"I can..."

"Then why don't you-"

"But even super-heroes need rest!" The dark haired teen facefaulted, squishing Veemon underneath him, causing everyone, including the stoic and cool Anya to laugh-

**"RAWR!"**

At that moment, there was a roar behind them. A roar that belonged to a digimon that looked sort of like a mixture of a rhino and a triceratops horn and all. "Who's that digimon?" Yui hesitantly asked, her curious nature coming through.

"It's a Monochromon," Kudomon's English accent voiced out through Anya's shirt as he explained this time. "But don't worry about him, he's a rather relaxed and, how you American say it 'a laid back' Digimon."

The 'laid-back' Digimon's eyes gazed over at the teens and the Digimon. It's red eyes ferociously lingering at them. The Monochromon roared at them, and very slowly Anya twisted her hand into her shirt, signaling to Kudomon that something was very wrong. Several of the teen looked between Kudomon and Monochromon uncertainly, and the ferret cleared his throat nervously. "Although it is wise to be a bit cautious," Kudomon continued "With a Monochromon, they do tend to get a bit miffed when they're hungry,"

"Zen ee' must ve starving," Lena's Russian accent was more prevalent as Coronamon quickly stood in between her and the large digimon. "Because he looks really mad!"

"Oh no, I think he wants to eat us!" Ryder wailed. There was another roar behind them and a second Monochromon joined the party. "There're two of them!" Anya gasped. "We're caught between a roar and two sets of teeth!"

"Come on, it's not safe here!" Kat ordered, louder than normal, getting more and more comfortable with the role as a leader. Of course, the group listened to her and they all went running to hide behind a boulder-

**"RAWR!"**

Only to screech to a halt when another Monochromon burst through the boulder, with another one right behind it. Kudomon was the first to break out of his stupor as his English accent voiced out in absolute terror. "A pack? But how!? Monochromon are too tenacious to work with one another!"

"H-How many of them are there?!"

"Like hell I know!" Kyler screamed as the slowly backed away, only to be surrounded by the four Monochromon. "There's no way it can get worse."

Another rumble and more roars in the distance as the team heard more Monochromon come their way. "Oh come on!"

They all turned and saw three more Monochromon appear from behind a rocky outcropping. The Digimon's quickly held their ground, making a circle around their partners as the smaller rookie Digimons did their best to protect them. However, no matter how valiant their efforts was, they knew that they won't be able to take on all of them.

"Agumon!" Kat rose her Digivice. "You gotta Digivolve!"

The smaller dinosaur nodded his head as he felt the code change inside him. He was going to change into GeoGreymon and try to buy them time to escape. He could probably take down at least two or three of them, but the dino-digimon knew that he'll be overwhelmed in the end by the mass number of Champion-leveled Digimon in front of him.

If he'll be De-Digitalized, then he'll do it by protecting Kat and the others!

"Agumon! Digivolves to-"

"Wait!" A deep voice rumbled as another rumble echoed from the distance. The Monochromon stopped whatever they were doing and slowly made room for whatever was coming. Everyone's eyes bucked when a red color Monochromon emerged. Or what appears to be a red-version of the said Digimon. The only difference was the size and the scars on the Digimon. There was a large claw scar on it's left eye while various of cut scars all over it's body and legs.

"Kudomon?" Ryder called out as she stare at the monster in front of them, absolutely terrified at the sight. "Just what the heck is that?"

"T-That's a Vermilimon!" Anya's Digimon answered in shock, "The alpha of the Monochomon. Unbelievable, this is the first time I've ever seen one alive!"

"Your first time?"

"Vermilimon were written in history to be extinct," Lunamon further explained. "To see a Monochrmon in a pack is a sight to see, to even witness one with a Vermilion as the pack leader right now is something of a miracle!"

"Then what is he doing here?" Yui wondered as the Vermilimon trotted over and glanced over at the humans...

...before bowing at them. "Forgive us, my clan had no information that you were allies with Dai-Lopmon."

Everyone blinked.

"Dai...Lopmon?" Coronamon voiced out everyone's opinion. Kat gasped when she saw the chocolatey bunny ontop of the Vermilimon's head, cross-legged, with an unusual headdress around it's head. "Um...Lopmon?"

"That's Dai-Lopmon to you mortals!" One of the Monochromon roared as Josh's partner appeased the Monochromons with a simple wave of hand.

"Please. They're my Namekian, it means friends in Waponese."

"Doesn't she meant Nakama and Japanese?" Yui whispered to herself as the Monochromon silently calmed down.

The Vermilimon looked at his pack, "Our mighty leader, Dai-Lopmon, wishes to tell us all something important now. So my fellow Monochromon you better dig the wax out of those huge ears of yours, and listen!" The Digimon roared, as the Lopmon slowly stood. "The reputation of the Monochromon that goes far and wide… When they talk about our wisdom and knowledge, the Digimon of indomitable spirit and masculinity, they're talking about our leader! The Mighty Lopmon!"

...what?

The Monochromon pack cheered as they stomp their feet onto the ground, creating massive tremors around while everyone else in the vicinity stared at Josh's Digimon in disbelief. How did the normally timid Digimon gather such rough and stubborn Digimons like the Monochromons together like this?

"Thank you, oh great and mighty Dai-Vermilimon. May your children be as awesome as you!" Lopmon gratefully told the larger digimon, patting Vermilimon on the head as the Ultimate level Digimon began to cry. "Dai-Lopmon, I am unworthy of your praise!"

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAISES DAI-LOPMON! HAIL DAI-LOPMON!" The Monochromon bowed as Lopmon hopped off of Vermilimon.

"Well, let me tell you guys about the world we live in." The adorable chocolate bunny declared, squatting down as she looked up at the humans. "The world that we live in, it's controlled by these so called gods that everyone expects to bow down to." She explained, lifting his head to the sky while taking in a deep breath. "Not that there's anything wrong with that of course…"

Lopmon jumped to her feet dramatically. "LIKE HELL THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!" She screamed. "WHAT THE HELL'S NOT WRONG WITH IT!?"

"EVERYTHING!" The Monochromon and Dai-Vermilimon answered back with the same energy as Lopmon was expressing. Taking deep breaths, the rookie digimon calmed down.

"We're living in fear, trying to appease these gods by living in the life of being naive and stupid…" Lopmon turned away from the team to face the sky. "Even the most powerful Digimons who are Mega-Level, they live like a coward and will die like one."

She then span around and points over at Kat and the others. "NOT ME!" She announced. "A true man, or woman, thinks with his or her courage! Break through reason and kick tradition to the curb! We demand for change and for us to be free!" She roared. "Break through the impossible with your awesome soul! That is how we, the Dai-Digimon, rolls!"

"I know this is a little to late to ask, but how did you get the name Dai-Lopmon?" Ryder asked hesitantly.

"Lopmon is too small a name to hold such awesomeness as I!" Dai-Lopmon declared. "Dai-Lopmon and my fellow Dai-Digimon will transform this broken world into one filled with manly souls! Their pride burning with passion! OURS SHALL BE A CANNON! THAT PIERCES THROUGH HEAVEN! AND EARTH! AND THROUGH TO TOMORROW!

"HAIL THE DAI-DIGIMON!" The group of Dai-Monochromons and Dai-Vermilimon chants once again.

"THAT IS THE WAY THE DAI-DIGIMON BRIGADE ROLLS!" Dai-Lopmon roared, the air behind him roaring into flames. "SO LET ME ASK YOU GOD, WHO HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?"

"WE ARE THE DAI-DIGIMON! HAIL DAI-LOPMON! HAIL THE DAI-DIGIMON!"

Alright, it's official. There is something freaking wrong with Lopmon…

"Coronamon, Veemon, Gabumon, Agumon why are you guy's kneeling?" Lena asked as she witnessed four of their rookie team bowing to Lopmon, along with the Dai-Monochromons and Dai-Vermilimon.

"The true man knows a manly soul when he sees one." Coronamon simply explains while Veemon reverently sang prayers of the awesomeness of the Dai-Digimon, Gabumon tried to resist the urge to cry only to fail as the manliness was too strong to bare. Agumon stood to attention with tears in his eyes. "Dai-Lopmon! I'll follow you to the day I die!"

Thank you, my Dai-Brothers!" Dai-Lopmon tearfully declared, turning to her fellow Dai-Digimons behind her. "My brethren! Let us welcome four more Digimon to our Dai-Digimon clan! Three cheers for Dai-Coronamon, Dai-Veemon, Dai-Gabumon and Dai-Agumon!"

"HAIL DAI-CORONAMON! HAIL DAI-VEEMON! HAIL DAI-GABUMON! HAIL DAI-AGUMON! HAIL DAI-LOPMON! HAIL THE DAI-DIGIMON!"

"You've got to be kidding me." Kyler muttered under his breath while Lena and nearly half of the crew had sweat drop on their head. The only one that didn't have one was Lunamon, who was cheering along with the Dai-Digimon, not really having a clue why they were doing it in the first place.

"Now our first plan!" Dai-Lopmon points at a group of Dai-Monochromons and Dai-Veemon. "You guys, find a communication device that can broadcast my message all over the Digital world! Spread the word that the Dai-Digimon will rise!" She then points at another group of Dai-Monochromons then to Dai-Gabumon and Dai-Coronamon. "We need you guys to find a suitable base that will show our Dai-Brethren that Dai-Digimon is nothing small of a group. And finally..." She points at Da-Vermillimon and Dai-Agumon. "You guys will come with me! We need to find this place call NASA, and tell them to build us a Jurassic genital rocket with and a shitload of more Funyuns!"

"An excellent plan Dai-Lopmon!"

"HAIL DAI-LOPMON! HAIL THE DAI-DIGIMON!"

"Oh for the love of...Yui what are you doing?" Anya asks as Yui bent down to look at Lopmon right in the face. It was five seconds before she stood up and turned to the Vermilimon and then to the Monochromon. Her eyes twitched as she turned to them and explained what was going on. The most logical answer to why they were acting like this.

"They're all freaking high out of their minds."

I don't think there was a single jaw that didn't drop at her statement. "I-I can't believe that...who would..." Suddenly everyone had a flashback of the pervious chapter, there one only one person with a whole consumption of weed to do all this.

"...JOSHUA CHUNG!" Kat screamed as Kyler smacked his face, in utter disbelief.

"Huh, so that's how people act when they're high." Ryder murmured in awe as Lena and Anya looked on a the Digimon with embarrassment.

"Speaking of Josh, where is he?" Yui pondered as Kat screamed in frustration.

"I don't care where he is! When I find him I'm going to- OH MY GOD MY EYES!" The little Mexican screeched with terror. Instinctively, Yui and Anya covered Lena and Ryders eyes as Kyler and the others looked on with abhorrer and shock. Even the Dai-Digimon were rendered speechless at the spectacle in front of them.

What happened?

It's me. Running out of the forest butt-naked.

"We're dead!" I screamed my male genitalia censored with an Agumon head, " 'I fucking knew it! We're all in hell!"

I was feeling my face for anything. Nothing.

"I can't feel my face! I can't feel anything! I can't feel if it's cold or not! I think we're all dead!" I paused and looked at my arms, before screaming like a little girl. "SPYDAHS! THEY'RE ALL OVER ME! AH!" Ignoring my friends and the Dai-Digimon around, I dove into the salty beach, and began to swim like hell. Everyone was just...shocked.

"Oh wow," Anya was the first to snap out of her daze. "A quick transition to a Butterfly from a Breaststroke without pause or a wall to assist; and to do all that smoothly? Impressive."

What I didn't know was that there was never any spiders on me in the first place. It was all the T8C's fault for making me see things.

When we get back to our world, I seriously need to talk to Grassy Jack about this.

* * *

After getting my clothes back on, thankfully, Dai-Vermilimon offered us to ride on the Dai-Monochromon to take us to shelter. Never had anyone thanked me for getting anyone high at that day. Of course, Kat kicked me in the balls for flashing at her.

It wasn't my fault that the T8C made me delusional...well technically it is, but still!

"What a weird ass sunset," Kyler commented as the Dai-Monochromon continued to carry us to our so called shelter.

"I think it's pretty," Ryder said. It was different but different wasn't always a bad thing.

"This whole island is weird," Lena said.

"And who knows what will be coming out at night." Anya agreed.

"So Vermili- I mean, Dai-Vermilimon" Yui quickly corrected herself as she felt the glare from the other Dai-Monochromons behind her. "Just what exactly is this shelter you're talking about?" The alpha pack hummed, trying to figure a way to explain this paradise that him and his Dai-Monochromon would usually go to "In a very simplistic manner of explanation, it's a lake with fresh, clean water and a variety of tasty fish. It's a perfect campsite and shelter for you human-mons" Ryder and Yui instantly lightened up. If there's anything that the two loved, it's to camp outside.

A sick moan broke everyone out of their bliss as they looked over to both Lopmon and me.

"Dai-Lopmon, are you alright?!" Dai-Vermilimon asked, rather worried about their leader's condition.

"I-I just feel sick..."

"That's why you should never had smoke weed in the first place." Kat admonished as both Digimon and Stoner-partner groaned weakly.

"Please be patient Dai-Lopmon," Dai-Vermilimon appeased, "We are almost there, once we get there you can rest peacefully and recover your strength."

Arriving at the lake was a relief for everyone. With the setting sun the lake had taken on a pink tinge, but in the centre of the lake were power poles of all shapes and sizes, some with their cables training in the water. Kat looked at the structure with weary. She hoped that there was no current going through them; though if Dai-Vermilimon said there were fish in the water, she assumed that there wasn't an electrical current.

We got off of the Dai-Monochromon, well the girls and Kyler were on them - Lopmon and I were on Dai-Vermillimon's back- , as the pack stood in respect to their leader. "Dai-Lopmon, you have opened our eyes, and for that we a forever thankful for your teachings." Dai-Vermilimon explained. "If you are around this vicinity, please, call us if you are in need of assistance!" The alpha leader looked down at his fellow Dai-brethren. "Dai-Coronamon, Dai-Veemon, Dai-Gabumon and Dai-Agumon please protect our leader Dai-Lopmon, I wish to come with you, but my family..."

"No worries! We'll keep her safe!" Coronamon gave him a thumbs up.

"Yeah, just keep your kid safe!" Gabumon supported as the pack tearfully nodded back.

"THANK YOU DAI-CORONAMON! THANK YOU DAI-VEEMON! THANK YOU DAI-GABUMON! THANK YOU DAI-AGUMON! THANK YOU DAI-LOPMON! HAIL THE DAI-DIGIMON!" with that Dai-Vermilimon led his pack out of the shelter. Leaving Kat and the others with their respectful Digimons.

"Well," Kudomon voiced from Anya's shirt, "That went well."

* * *

"Alright gang!" Kat began as she and Agumon gathered up firewoods for the campfire, "Now all we've been doing while we were here was running away with our lives, and being attacked by very hostile monsters with little to no mercy!"

"Personally," I began as I reeled in another fish, while Lopmon bit into the gills to quickly kill it. "I see no reason to stop at this point, I think we're on a roll."

"Yeah, we're all doing good," Yui sarcastically murmured as she caught some of the berries that were dropped from the trees with the help of Lunamon's Tear Shot. "Trying to keep our skins in tact so far. There's no way we're doing terrible, except for the time when Kawagamon and Shellmon attacked us."

"I think it's great that Vermilimon took us here!" Ryder called out from another side as she gathered up some mushrooms and herbs from the garden, while stabbing some mushroom onto Gabumon's horn as an extra arm. "I mean, not only are there foods here, but there's also a trolly car that we could use as shelter!"

"I can't believe that all of this happened in one day- Coronamon, stop that!" Lena ordered in frustration as she had to reel back the line. "It's bad enough that my laptop isn't working, and now I'm trying to do something slightly more productive only for you to scare the fishes away-"

"CANON BALL!" Coronamon ignored her pleas and jumped into the lake.

"Where's Anya?" Kyler asked as he brought a handful more of fruits to the camp, Veemon chewing on some of the berries that they gathered. "Haven't seen her for a while."

"She fell asleep," I explained as I brought in a line of fishes. "She was exhausted, and right now snoozing away in the trolly."

"Can you blame her?" Ryder asked as she brought in the herbs and mushrooms. "She's been the scout for almost the whole day, of course she'd collapse in exhaustion."

"We all are," Yui stated with a nod, placing down the oranges and grapefruits onto the ground. "Once the fire's going, we'll call her over. She'll need to warm up."

"Leave that to us! Agumon!" The mini T-Rex nodded. He blew on the kindling and before long a large fire took its place. "Alright tell Lena to get Anya over here."

By the time the sun had set completely the fish were cooked and the fruit was cut. Of course there was one hilarious scene where I tried to cook the fish over the fire and almost burned my fingers for it. Anya, exasperated with what I was doing showed me the 'proper way' of cooking a fish.

"How did you come up with that?" I asked as Anya stuck a fish with a stick before placing it next to the fire to cook it.

"Common sense, something you lack Josh." Unlike Kyler, Anya is someone I can tolerate. She's that sister that you kind of want to have. So when she leaned on my shoulder, I really didn't think of it too much. Oh and for those who were wondering if I had a crush on her, lemme put it this way. Anya is like a hoodie: who'd want to fuck their hoodie?

The conversation was kept light, but after dinner the group separated a little. Ryder wanted to study the now visible stars, looking for familiar constellations. We let her, but the digimon all started to drift off to sleep. The remains of their cooking were thrown onto the fire, and once they were turned to charcoal they put out the fire.

Before Anya retreated back to sleep, she suggested that one of us keep watch throughout the night. Of course she forbid Ryder from doing it because of her autophobia, and Lena because of her gaming addition. "Nu-uh! I can definitely guard this place!"

"Alright fine." Anya shrugs, "I guess you'll have to stay up all night, all alone with Gabumon. In the cold, spooky night where anything can happen. You can do that while we're all together in a group, in a nice warm comfy cushion-"

"Actually, I take it back! I rather want to sleep for today with my friends and forever!" Ryder was already halfway to the trolly when she said this. Anya didn't want to use Ryder's phobia as a leverage, but there was no chance in hell she was going to allow someone like Ryder guard for the night. Lena looked over at Anya and back, "You sure you'll be alright?"

"Don't you worry about me Lena, I got this." The Russian looked rather reluctant to go, but with a smile from the Icelandic teen Lena yawned before rubbing her eyes. "Then...at least wake someone up to take you shift afterwards..." With that, our second favorite chibi walked into the trolly cart. Anya watched her go when something warm wrapped around her shoulders. She blinked. A blanket?

"If your going to stay out here, you might as well be warm and do it." I told her nonchalantly. She looked at me gratefully as I pulled Kat to the cart. "Come on Kat, Anya's a big girl, she can stand watch for just a few hours."

"B-But she scouted today and-"

"Goodnight Anya!" Pushing Kat into the trolly I shut the door, leaving her and Kudomon for the first hour watch.

* * *

Honestly I'm getting kind of tired of writing stories. Having all this writers block and stuff...

Anyways Rate and Review


End file.
